@jonjen2 Warrior Snack Mix! (Big, Grain-Free Granola Chunks)

@jonjen2 almond nuggets

Correction.

Honey almond nuggets

@omally This stuff doesn’t contain bees

@omally @troy these days I have grown a taste for beeswax (it’s actually pretty healthy and just a little sweet)

@phendrick I kept getting mixed up between the bee, the free, the lack of grains in granola, and the honey, that BeeFy “granola alternative (chicken)” was one of the incorrect conclusions I was jumping to.

@phendrick It is free of beer.

@Kyeh @phendrick …hmmm. Grain-free beer…

@Kyeh “free of beer” needs the word “of” deleted.
Of course, the various “lite” beers do taste as if they are “free of beer”.

@thechinglish Let’s bring race into everything. Good call!

@user39682333 sounds very Green Party of you

@phendrick genius.

“Here are the keys to your 2025 grain-free granola”
This is a Honda… Lawnmower
“It’s grain-free!”

@phendrick to be fair, their marketing doesn’t say granola anywhere that I can see.

I mean, it looks a whole lot like granola, but it doesn’t actually say it.

@phendrick It calls itself a “snack mix” instead of granola. Seems to be basically almond clusters.

@phendrick This is sort of like gorp but without the raisins or peanuts, I think. It says 150 calories per 1 oz serving, so about 5 calories per gram, decent for trail food assuming it’s not mostly from sugar.

@djslack
Not the snack company’s marketing wonks:
“There’s no IRK math or countdown-induced FOMO this time around, just a twelve-pack of the most unnecessarily aggressive gluten- and grain-free granola we could find.”

@Lynnerizer the ingredients are almost entirely almonds. I imagine this tastes like a can of honey roasted almonds (with pumpkin seeds)

@AmeliaStar My thoughts exactly. I was maybe going to give them a try, but with how high coconut is on the ingredients, there are definitely full on coconut bits in them.

@AmeliaStar Thank you so much for this warning.

@goldnectar I mean, it is BEST BY not expiration date. They should still be perfectly edible for a couple of months past best by date. Good compromise for the discount…if I liked coconut lol.

@AmeliaStar that’s a lot of calories. I think I’ll need a bit more time.

@Aspirant_Fool What’s the scam with Honey Almond nuggets?

@troy The primal diet is a grift, and ‘modern warriors need primal food’ suggests a connection with, or at least a desire to capitalize on, that grift.

The language used on the back of the bag suggests that ‘a gluten free diet’ will somehow help one ‘fight the battle against autism’. Maybe they’re not saying that eating gluten free will make you less autistic, but I sure read it that way.

That’s ignoring the fact that being neurodivergent is not something you need to fight a battle against, and the attitude that it is seems like it’d probably particularly unhealthy for a child on the spectrum. Understanding, empathy, patience, providing care, and teaching seem like a better choice than repeatedly telling a kid “The way you are is wrong, and I’m going to help you fight against it every day (with these gluten free snacks)”.

Editing to add: Yeah, after very little additional research, this smells like another grift. Gluten free/casein free diets reducing symptoms of autism spectrum disorders in children, not apparently supported by any robust science, but enough subjective reports of symptom reduction to get parents on the bandwagon.

@troy Also probably worth noting that the manuka honey on sidedeal today is another scam food. All honeys have antimicrobial properties just due to the structure/composition of honey, but those effects occur when the honey is applied topically. Often the only studies available to back up those claims are observing in vitro effects; In vivo studies are relatively rare and often differ from in vitro observations where they exist at all. Grifters sell it to people with the implication (or outright statement) that it’s better than antibiotics, without making any distinction between topical application and consumption.

@Aspirant_Fool @troy dunno, but almonds are disgusting in any form, IMHO, if you like them, go for it.

My current granola fetish from Sprouts

They have 2 others with wiskey. I have one of them, the Mardi Gras, I will try after I get my tooth fixed, not related to eating this

@kknuutila caramel doesn’t have (or shouldn’t have) gluten; but the vanilla flavoring and honey probably simulate the taste and feel of caramel.

@kknuutila @pakopako Caramel is just sugar that has been heated up. I’m pretty sure honey and coconut oil will produce an acceptable caramel by themselves.

@rrrlakin I was looking too. It says “contains almonds, coconuts”

@rrrlakin I cannot find anything that this may contain peanuts – packaging only states “may contain nut shell fragments”

@rrrlakin @troy

packaging only states “may contain nut shell fragments”

Yeah, that’s my biggest complaint. I’ve definitely had at least 3 instances of shell. Freshness is certainly waning. Given that best by date is still a couple days off so it shouldn’t be an issue, it makes me wonder if these sat in the back of an overheated trailer too long so they diverted them to alternate retail. Not bad enough to complain given the price paid, and I’d expect better if I was paying full retail at a place like Trader Joe’s, but it’s the nut shells that would keep me from buying again.

@baqui63 You want hives.

@baqui63 @werehatrack Or bibbs.

@baqui63 @werehatrack Why would anyone want hives? Too itchy.

@baqui63 @rockblossom @werehatrack
Or the BBB?