Get Pumped

Look, you don’t need this thing, okay?

After all, most gas stations provide a compressor for free! So why would you need something to air up your tires at home or in the parking lot at work?

No, we say: save yourself a little bit of money today, and when the temperature drops and your tire-pressure indicator pops on, just drive to the nearest gas station, get in line behind all the other cars doing the same thing, and wait your turn.

Will it cost you a whole lunch break? Or cause you to be late to your job? Or delay you on your drive home, thus keeping you in your miserable work clothes for longer, withholding the comfort of your pajamas or sweats or whatever you put on the second you get inside your house?

Maybe. But that’s a small price to pay, right?

Right?

And look, we just want to let you know: when it is your turn, and you see the line of cars behind you, don’t worry. Those people aren’t frustrated with you. Sure, they might be angry. They made be exhausted, both physically and mentally. The cold weather, the miserable driving conditions, the stress of the upcoming holidays draining money and time in equal measure, the hours of sunlight reduced to almost nothing and coinciding perfectly with the standard workday–all of these things might have that dude in the truck watching you fumble around with the air compressor hose on his last nerve.

But again: it’s not you he’s angry with. It’s everything else. And when, especially in a context involving cars, has someone allowed their emotions to get the better of them and bloodied their knuckles by lashing out violently at a stranger who didn’t deserve it?

Oh and hey, speaking of bloody knuckles: the pain in your hand? And the cracks forming in them? You know, because you had to take your gloves off to unscrew the cap on your tires? Exposing them to the cold, dry air of winter? That damage is not permanent! All you need to do is put them in front of the heat vent for about twenty minutes to thaw them out, and then apply lotion vigorously every time you wash your hands for the next eight months.

See? It’s so simple to just go to the gas station! Maybe not as simple as, say, using one of these things to add a little air to your tire in the comfort of your garage, or in the driveway where no one will get impatient if you have to take a break and sit in your warm car for a minute between each tire.

But is that really worth 30 bucks?