Wise Owl Outfitters Hammock with Bug Net and Rainfly Accessories
- If it isn’t hammock season where you are, get it and stash it until Spring
- If it is hammock season where you are, get it and use it right now
- No bugs allowed, thanks to the bug net
- No rain allowed, thanks to the rainfly
- Cocoon yourself up real nice and enjoy some r&r (rest and relaxation) even in the r (rain)
- Is it Mac compatible: Omg, if you bring your Mac in this thing, you are the biggest loser ever
Get It Now
April, 2023, the first nice weekend of the year:
“Honey, I’m home.”
“Oh, great! How was the store? I can’t wait to lounge in our new hammock during our upcoming camping tri-- Oh, no! Sweetie! You look terrible!”
“You should see the other guy!”
“He looks worse than you?”
“No, he’s jacked. That’s why I’m so beat up.”
“What happened?”
“Well, as you know, I decided not to buy the hammock and accessories–such as a bug net and a rain fly–that Meh offered in November at a great out-of-season price. Instead, I decided to go to the store today, when everyone is shopping for hammocks and hammock accessories.”
“And you didn’t find one?”
“No, I did. I got the last one. But as I was about to go to the checkout line, this huge hulking dude put his hand on my shoulder and said, ‘hey, how’s about you hand over that hammock to Big Jimmy, little buddy.’”
“Who’s Big Jimmy?”
“The guy. He was talking in the third person.”
“Wow!”
“Anyway, I was like, ‘No, I found it first,’ and he was like, ‘Buddy, you’re gonna make Big Jimmy put out his cigarette?’”
“You can’t smoke inside a big retail store.”
“That’s what I said. But then he pointed to a sign that read: ‘No smoking, except for Big Jimmy.’”
“Whoa. Big Jimmy sounds really cool.”
“He actually was. If I’m honest, it was an honor getting beat up by him. Because that’s what happened next. He put out his cigarette, beat me up, and took the last hammock.”
“Did you notice if Big Jimmy was wearing a wedding ring?”
“I don’t think he was, but-- wait, why are you asking?”
“I’d like a divorce. So I can marry Big Jimmy. He sounds real cool. Plus, he has a hammock and you don’t.”
“Wow, I really should’ve bought that one they were selling on Meh, huh?”
“You really should’ve.”
