Weston Deluxe Heavy Duty #32 Meat Grinder

  • That’s right
  • How many times have you found yourself without a meat grinder?
  • Now you can grind meat every day like you’ve always dreamed
  • Model: Instead of reviews, we’re thinking about the origin of Model Numbers: 25 Assembly lines build models, but many people don’t realize their true innovation, not isolating building steps, not moving things along a line, but interchangeable parts.
see more product specs

Apocalypse Soonish

Read previous entries:
Day 1
Day 2

22

Day 3

Dear Journal,

I awake in a damp, dark room. Possibly a cell. I shake my head free of sleep and a likely concussion and try to remember the salient events that led me here.

  • I was frozen in 2017 but have been prematurely thawed
  • The world as I knew it has been destroyed
  • I have befriended a well-spoken possum named Virginia
  • We were captured by a band of apes capable of speech, albeit monosyllabic
  • We were lead back to their den and encountered their seeming leader, an enormous white comedian chicken
  • I have been separated from Virginia and find myself imprisoned in the den

I must learn what happened to cause this destruction and madness. Then I must try to undo it. I remember that Virginia was on the verge of describing these events when she was clobbered into unconsciousness. Maybe if I find her, I can …

Hold on, Journal. Don’t make a noise. Someone or something approaches my cell —

23

A window high above me opens, sending in a blinding shaft of light. Three objects clunk to the hard floor. The window closes again.

I blindly reach for these mysterious objects and discover that they are —

24

A bottle of fetid but welcome water
An enchilada wrapped in foil (even more welcome)
A box containing a beer koozy, three ethernet cables, a t-shirt, and what seems to be a clip-on light or lamp of some kind, and a patch or badge emblazoned with a single “V”

I contemplate this strange assortment of goods while wolfing down my enchilada. With no power supply I cannot use the light. And the other products seem absolutely … worthless.

Are they gifts from a benevolent stranger? Or some kind of strange joke courtesy of my insane primate captors?

I have little time to contemplate, for as I write this more footsteps approach. I hurry to hide my “goods” in a corner just in time before —

25

A door swings open, sending more light into my dismal cell. I see it is shaped like a large well — circular with high stone walls leading up into darkness. And somewhere up there a grated window from which my “gifts” fell.

I have little time for contemplation, however, as I am seized (for the umpteenth time) by two large primate guards and forced into the lit hallway.

We pass a row of cell doors much like mine and I strain my neck to see into the open ones, hoping to catch a sight of Virginia. But to no avail. I fear I shall never behold her sweet, mangled visage again, Journal.

At the end of the hallway I am thrust onto what seems to be a forklift and driven up and up through the subterranean den until we reach the light of the outdoors, where I am deposited like so much cargo on —

So far today...

  • 144286 of you visited.
  • 42% on a phone, 7% on a tablet.
  • 624 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 29 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $797 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?