Can't play a musical instrument? Here's the next best thing.

That’s the kind of cheap jab I would take at the ukulele… if my ears had never been opened by this. Just listen:

A song I’d always hated, played on an instrument I’d always dismissed. And it was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever heard.

Yes, the ukulele has become a totem of counter-cool cutesiness, although at this point the backlash and back-backlash have gone back and forth so many times, you’re as liable to get laughed at for playing one as you were when Tiny Tim tiptoed through the zeitgeist. Sometimes the cornballs who brandish them can be a little much to take, from your local wacky uke crew (every town has one) to Eddie Vedder and Train.

To hell with all that. It’s fun.

As J. Chalmers Doane showed those '70s Canadian kids, anybody of any size and any age can play a ukulele. The chord shapes are simpler than guitar chords, and stretch your hands less. That plinky jangle works equally well for hushed lullabies and rousing singalongs. It takes up hardly any room at all in your house, car, or backpack. It’s light enough for a toddler to carry. And even after all this time, it’s still funny when you use it to play something like “Back in Black” or “Ace of Spades”.

Putting aside our philosophical objections with the whole “for dummies” idea, this package puts you on the express lane on Ukulele Highway. Along with a solid starter ukulele by Kohala, a real ukulele maker, it includes a book by the guy behind Ukulele Hunt, king of all ukulele sites. There’s also a gig bag, digital tuner, and some picks, if you insist on using them (I never do myself).

Cool is exhausting, isn’t it? There’s no better way to get over yourself than dropping your pretensions and picking up a ukulele. Being a grownup means never having to say “I’m too cool for that.”