True & Tidy 2-in-1 Steam Mop + Handheld Steamer

  • 2 in 1 design means a steam cleaner you’ll actually use
  • Steam power is the same thing used by old locomotives.
  • Are you really saying that you couldn’t clean your house with a locomotive worth of power??
  • Model: CH00-CH00-MFER
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On the philosophical implications of infinite monkey feces

It’s been said that infinite monkeys banging away on infinite typewriters will eventually produce the complete screenplay for Legally Blonde 2: Red White & Blonde. Sometimes it’s just a matter of having the right ingredients on hand to make something magical happen, then…waiting. Forever.

In a similar vein, if you take a bleary-eyed person who has been living in a weird post-modern dystopia for the last 18 months or so and leave them alone with a steam mop for long enough, they’ll eventually clean something with it.

Not only that, but they’ll probably clean something that it had never previously occurred to them to clean. The kind of thing that once seemed impossible to deal with, but now feels somehow manageable—dare we say, compelling—with the right tools at hand.

Do you buy a new grill every few years because they’re impossible to clean and eventually start grease fires that make you feel like the neighborhood jackass? It turns out that you can use a steamer for that.

Do you have fancy bathroom hardware that looked amazing when you first got it, but honestly hasn’t been genuinely clean for more than a minute or two at a time ever since? You can use a steamer for that, too.

Windows? Steamer.

Windows that you can’t quite reach? Steamer with this little reachy part.

Tile floors? Kitchen counters? Freaking curtains??? Cleveland? Steamer, steamer, steamer. No.

Full disclosure: no matter how long you let infinite monkeys play with this steam mop, you won’t get a sneak peak of a script for the third installment of the Elle Woods saga. You’ll just have to wait like the rest of us to get your hands on Legally Blonde 3: Heart of Darkness (working title), out next May. But your infinite monkeys will probably start tidying up the grim reality of infinite monkey poop. Eventually.

Maybe just try it without the monkeys.

You and your mop. With infinite time. Infinitely bored.

But maybe cleaning. Eventually.

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