Sunbeam Mini Brushless Massage Gun with 4 Attachments

  • Hurt the hurt away
  • Comes with a variety of different heads to maximize the muscle tenderization
  • Compact, lightweight, and very portable
  • Can it make a margarita: Hmm, that depends if it’s waterproof or not… you know, on second thought, let’s just go with no
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Pain For What Ails You

There’s no getting around it. Massage guns look intense. Like a cross between some sort of futuristic laser pistol and a boxing glove. And that’s if you have the standard ball-shaped head on. Sub that out for one of the other options and it starts to seem like something a mega-villain would pull out as they say to our restrained hero, “I have ways of making people talk.”

And we should be clear about something here: they look intense because they are intense. This thing is not a pad that you lay on your shoulders when you get home from work so that its subtle vibrations might soothe the slight aches of a long day (some of which are existential rather than physical in nature). This is a search-and-destroy massager. You target the muscle pain and then painfully beat that muscle pain into submission.

For this reason, you often see massage guns like this (though, likely a lot more expensive than this one) used by people who play sports professionally. And this fact might make you think you don’t need one. After all, you’re just some person with a job and a life and maybe, just maybe, an exercise routine. You’re not sprinting back and forth for 48 minutes, trying (and failing) to solve the puzzle that is Nikola Jokic with your unbelievable athleticism.

But here’s the thing: in my fridge, I have bottles of something that’s apparently formulated for olympians and super soldiers, and I drink it to rehydrate after I mow the lawn on a hot day. In my pantry, I have some protein bars intended for meatheads trying to bulk up at the gym, and I eat them for breakfast when I need something small yet satisfying after having a too-big burrito for dinner the night before.

The point is no one needs to know what you use a thing for.

You could buy this for relief after one of your grueling spin classes. Or you could buy it for when you inevitably tweak your back leaning down to pick up a stick in the middle of the sidewalk.

It really doesn’t matter. What’s important is that you buy one. From us.

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