Sunbeam Touchless Digital Infrared Body & Object Thermometer

  • Takes a reading in 2 seconds flat
  • Switch between body or object mode
  • Body mode will measure 93.2°-109.4°F
  • Object mode will measure 32.0°-199.4°F
  • Will make a noise to let you know if there’s a fever
  • Runs on 2 AAA batteries (included)
  • It’s 5 bucks, what are you waiting for
  • This offer does not qualify for an IRK refund
  • Can it make a margarita: No, but it might help you figure out whether you’ve got a marg hangover or something more serious
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Bloop, There It Is

It often feels like we still haven’t quite adjusted to the age of infrared medical technology. At least I haven’t.

Even as recently as twenty or thirty years ago, the thermometer appeared infrequently. If you felt sick, you first engaged in a rigid interrogation. “What do you feel? Where do you feel it? How bad?” If you answered all of these questions just right, you still wouldn’t get to take your temperature. Not yet at least. No, all this talk earned you was an unscientific reading from the pre-thermometer, which is to say, a hand applied to your head. If you felt warm–and ONLY if you felt warm–the real thermometer came out.

It made some sense, honestly. It took whole minutes to get a reading. It had to sit uncomfortably in the mouth. And then, afterward, it needed to be cleaned, wiped off, and put away. That’s a lot of work to confirm that you’re running a high temperature of… 98.9.

Now, though, we have thermometers like this. You take it out of the cabinet. Bloop, there’s the temperature in 2 seconds. And in case you’re really not paying attention, it’ll make a noise to let you know if the number’s super high. Then, when you’re done, just put it back, because it didn’t touch anything.

So easy, right?

And yet, I don’t know about all of you, but I still do the whole song and dance.

“Jeez, I’m feeling a little weird. Is it hot in here? Am I the only one who feels hot? Here, touch my head; how warm do I feel? How do I look? A little woozy? Has anyone we know been sick recently? Do you think I’m just dehydrated?”

Yada, yada, yada.

Really though, at the first sign of feeling remotely unhealthy, I should probably just grab my thermometer and get a reading, so as to rule out any of the potentially scary stuff.

Is this a sales pitch? Not really. It’s just sort of an observation.

Anyway, buy an infrared thermometer if you don’t have one already. Hell, even if you do, for 5 bucks, having an extra’s not so bad.

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