Dream Steam

Is your house clean?

This question is nearly impossible to answer because it really depends on who’s asking. Or, moreover, it depends on who’s coming over.

If it’s just you, your house is clean when there are no enormous piles of garbage around. When it’s you and a friend having a drink and vaguely watching TV while dishing the recent gossip within your circle, a quick sweep and maybe a once-over with the vacuum will suffice.

And it keeps ticking up like that.

Small dinner party? Probably want to do some dusting, a little bit of extra scrubbing.

Bigger party? You want that place to be close to spotless.

Et cetera, et cetera, until eventually, you get to the tip-top of the social-gathering-at-your-house hierarchy: hosting family for the holidays. Here, we are talking about a group of people who will leverage your blood relation to speak aloud judgments concerning the state of your house (and, also, the state of your life) that others would feel guilty just thinking to themselves.

Hence, you could use some serious cleaning power. Like this steam cleaner.

Now, if you’re hosting Thanksgiving, this sale likely comes too late to help you. Godspeed, friends! May the tryptophan insulate you from the grimaces of your kin as they observe your kitchen floor.

But, if you’re hosting family later in the season, now’s the time to buy. Because this thing packs a punch. It heats water up to 200 degrees to sanitize all kinds of surfaces. Plus, it comes with a variety of different attachments, so you can rest assured it will handle any job.

And then, you don’t have to worry about all the passive-aggressive observations and instead, the conversation can focus on something else. Like, your career. Or love life. Or politics.

Wow, on second thought, maybe just leave your house a mess…