Self Image Recognition

What makes one bag a “laptop bag”, another a “handbag” and another a “purse”? Is there any way for us to claim with objective authority which is which?No matter which particular label we slap on these, they’re quality travel bags with good reviews at a hecka low price. The “Executive” version slips right over the handlebar of your wheeled carry-on, and both version hold laptops up to 15.6" in a cocoon-like pocket. Admittedly, the quilted “Classic” version is a straight-up purse, but the “Executive” style hovers somewhere closer to a unisexity, right?Categories like this can be difficult to define. Maybe the particular shape of the shoulder straps, or size of the rivets, or other feature or set of features makes you think “handbag” or “purse,” but that’s pretty dang subjective.Thankfully, our technocratic masters have devised a way to answer these questions with math and percentages and such. If you haven’t seen it in action before, check out Google’s stupendous image recognition machine. Upload any image, complete an image-identifying CAPTCHA (hilariously), and voila: it spits out its best guesses along with confidence percentages. It’s very good at basic images: https://d2b8wt72ktn9a2.cloudfront.net/mediocre/image/upload/v1488319779/rlv1zfagghgdtictogzo.pngAnd pretty impressive even with abstract or stylized porcine pics: https://d2b8wt72ktn9a2.cloudfront.net/mediocre/image/upload/v1488319832/du7v2ukfbjn3mgwvjw1j.pngEven super abstract concepts, like a festival, get picked up by the Googlerithms: https://d2b8wt72ktn9a2.cloudfront.net/mediocre/image/upload/v1488320608/jff9wy4oeeb0szyts62s.jpghttps://d2b8wt72ktn9a2.cloudfront.net/mediocre/image/upload/v1488320829/bmyhkj3uazqd6jmaqbgt.pngThat’s obviously a picture from a music festival, but what features, exactly, make that clear? Certainly the woman-sitting-on-man’s-shoulders position occurs in almost no other human endeavor. And the (possibly chemically assisted) expression of joy on the shoulder rider’s face could only be that of one on their way to a Martin Garrix set. In fact, Google automatically detects the emotions of people in the images: https://d2b8wt72ktn9a2.cloudfront.net/mediocre/image/upload/v1488320270/gklwnfvuu0hjehugwgu2.pngPretty cool and creepy, right? Croolpy? All right, we’ve established Google’s ability to categorize objects. Now we can prove once and for all that the “Executive” bag is not a handbag or purse, but decidedly appropriate for all sexes. Drumroll please…