Shark Navigator Lift-Away Professional Vacuum NV370
- Shark makes such good vacuums they named a deadly fish after them
- Upright and Lift-Away, so you can clean anywhere
- Accessories included: Hard Floor Hero, Pet Power Brush, Dusting Brush, and 8” Crevice Tool
- Swivel Steering for easy handling and corded so you don’t need to charge it
- Model: 5H4RK-TH3-H3R4LD-4NG3L-51N65
Script for a Shark Navigator Ad
A song from the 90s plays as a wife leads her husband downstairs to a Christmas tree. Next to it: a Shark Navigator.
HUSBAND: Whoa, a Shark Navigator? The premier corded 2-in-1 vacuum capable of Upright and Lift-Away for portable cleaning?
CUT TO: Husband in the middle of the living room with his Shark Navigator, filming himself.
HUSBAND: Okay, first time vacuuming. A little nervous, but excited. Mostly because I’m a grown man who’s never vacuumed before. But at least I can breathe easy. Literally, thanks to the Shark’s Anti-Allergen Complete Seal Technology, plus a HEPA filter! Let’s do this!
CUT TO: Husband walking into the house, filming himself on his phone.
HUSBAND: Five days in a row! Are you surprised? You should be. That’s way too much vacuuming. But I can’t stop myself. Seriously, this Shark has unlocked a deep need for cleanliness and now I’m powerless not to vacuum! But don’t worry: I don’t need to rearrange the furniture, thanks to the Shark’s Swivel Steering!
CUT TO: Husband in bed, talking to phone.
HUSBAND: 6am, yay. I’m thinking about vacuuming again. It’s been about three hours since I last ran the Shark. The dirt has been settling. When you listen closely to the quote-un-quote silence, you can almost hear its diabolical in-creep.
CUT TO: Husband filming himself listening to a voicemail from their landlord on his wife’s phone.
VOICEMAIL: Hi Jill. If you could just give me a call back when you get this. I need to chat with you about something. A lot of the other tenants are complaining about the noise, something about a vacuum cleaner. I don’t know if that’s you, or of it’s Greg…
HUSBAND: She just said my name!
PAN TO REVEAL: All we’ve been seeing is on a TV screen. The wife watches. There are bags under her eyes. She is very tired.
HUSBAND (on screen): A year ago I didn’t realize how much this would change me. But now, I see…
His speech is drowned out by the sound of a vacuum cleaner as the husband (in the room) maneuvers the shark over a corner of the living room carpet.
WIFE: Honey, I can’t hear!
HUSBAND: Sorry, babe! But I saw some dust!
VOICE OVER: This holiday, give the gift… of Shark!
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Shark Navigator Lift-Away Professional Vacuum NV370 68
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Candy Canes are Garbage 18
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You can either live in a penthouse apartment in a city or a sprawling manor in the middle of nowhere. 71
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martinis i have! dirty they are! who wants in? 39 -
Helpful training for our future AI overlords 17 -
[unofficial poll] 5 -
VMware now free 6 -
Carbonated Soft Drinks? 24