Samba Glass Insulated Carafe

A real glass carafe made in the real Germany, with a protective shell of real plastic
Keeps 34 ounces of liquid hot for 10 hours, cold for 16 hours, and tepid indefinitely
Push button, pour coffee: man, we tried so hard to think of a “push button, catch bacon” joke here
Model: E504235 (with the insane number of colors this comes in, the length of the model number is totally justified)

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When in doubt, look for materials with shorter names.

You’ve got a tumbler to keep your own cup of coffee hot and ready to drink. And you’ve got a Thermos to do the same for a whole pot. But what about when you’re having people over? You can’t plop a Thermos down on the brunch table like you’re at a construction site.

That’s where this Emsa Samba carafe comes in. Dressy enough for entertaining, insulatey enough to keep your coffee hot. You know it’s good because the main body of the container is glass, and glass only has five letters.

Think about. Glass. Steel. Wood. Iron. Wool. All have been worked by humans for millennia. All are acknowledged as superior to their artificial imitators. All have very short names.

We could add rubber, cotton, and leather and still not hit eight letters. If you don’t know anything else about two comparable products, look for the one whose materials could be a trading commodity in a civilization-building board game. Look for the materials with shorter names.

It’s the difference between a polyvinyl chloride motorcycle jacket and a leather one. A polystyrene fork or a steel fork. A polypropylene deck or a wooden deck. Sure, it’s all useful. But all other things being equal - including, crucially, the price - go with the ones made of stuff with shorter names.

Ah, but there’s the problem, the price. If you could get a glass-lined carafe for the same price as an all-plastic one, of course you would - but what kind of fantasy world of magic would that happen in?

Our fantasy world of magic, that’s what kind. This Emsa Samba Insulated Server holds five or six cups of coffee in a glass bottle inside a plastic shell. We’re sure the plastic in the shell has some multisyllabic name, but G-L-A-S-S is five letters, and it’s the glass part that’ll be doing all the heavy lifting at your next brunch, klatsch, or social.

Like any general guidelines, there might be specific exceptions to the rule. A character count is no substitute for more in-depth research. But follow it and you’ll go right more often than wrong. If you don’t know anything else about a product, don’t count the features. Count the letters.

Samba Glass Insulated Carafe

When in doubt, look for materials with shorter names.

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