Ray-Ban Eyeglasses
- The two feature bullets on Amazon say: 1) Shape: Square; 2) Ray-Ban is the global leader in premium eyewear market. I don’t know why you expect much else from us.
- You can turn these into sunglasses pretty easily.
- They don’t come with your prescription in them, obviously. That’d be a nifty trick.
- There are two frame styles (we’re calling the top 3 ‘rectangle’ and the bottom 2 ‘square’), and then a selection of colors in each style, including Black, Brown, and Beige
- Model Numbers: RX5248, RX7021. And then there are some codes for the different colors. Honestly, it’s kinda complicated.
Cruel Pretentions
We should really be past this by now. Eyewear should be so ubiquitous that it no longer conveys intelligence. Hell, there have been many delinquent spectacle-wearers throughout history. Elvis Costello, for example. Or the kid in A Christmas Story. Yet there’s still an allure there, a certain je ne sais quoi.
Thus, if you buy these Ray Ban frames, it doesn’t matter if you actually have them fitted with corrective lenses. Because really their best attribute is not their ability to stylishly hold panes of glass that enhance your vision. It’s all about the cool new pretentious things you can say when you wear them! For example:
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“Oh, I’m definitely getting the stone fruit.”
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“I’m going to put you on an adjective diet, Jeffrey.”
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“Actually, ‘decimate’ is defined not as total destruction, but reducing a population by one tenth.”
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“Anyway, it’ll all be in my memoir.”
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“I prefer a single origin Burundi.”
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“I don’t know, Jeffrey; can you?”
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“But that’s the whole point of Father John Misty, is it not?”
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“Yet there’s still an allure there, a certain je ne sais quoi.”
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“The parameters may be reductive, but they’re a good starting point.”
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“While I agree with the premise, Jeffrey, I feel uncomfortable bandying about words like ‘travesty.’”
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“But what does it mean when our addiction to nostalgia surpasses our desire for change?”
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“Honestly, I prefer the second season of The Wire.”
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“It could use some cellaring. At the moment it’s a bit too barrel-forward for my tastes.”
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“The story is told in a series of loosely-related vignettes.”
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“But is it really about love, Jeffrey? Or is it about consumerist culture?”
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“We should really be past this by now. Eyewear should be so ubiquitous that it no longer conveys intelligence.”
