We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

Pursonic S520 Rechargeable Toothbrush

  • 40,000 sonic strokes per minute seems like a lot of sonic strokes
  • Usually electric toothbrushes gouge you on the replacement heads, but you get 12 heads with this, so screw those assholes, they can go gouge themselves
  • Also includes two travel caps, two interdental brush heads, two tongue cleaners, and two floss holders
  • Two-minute timer vibrates every 30 seconds to alert you to brush some other part of your mouth
  • Model: S520 (we appreciate the brevity, but the first result in Google is something about mold remediation, which nobody wants to think about while toothbrush shopping)
see more product specs

A Dozen Heads for a Dozen Celebs

For today’s story, we had to solve a few problems. How to convey, with maximum impact, the fact that this Pursonic toothbrush comes with 12 heads (it’s like getting each head for $2 and change, plus the toothbrush free). How to celebrate our favorite June 15 celebrity birthdays. And how to take up a lot of space in this column when we don’t have much to say about this toothbrush.

So we’re sending this grotesque birthday message to twelve of the all-time greats!

Remember these 12 famous heads to remind yourself about all the money you’re saving with 12 heads included with this Pursonic toothbrush instead of having to buy them later. That’s how they screw you.

And remember, the Pursonic 40,000-strokes-per-minute toothbrush makes a great gift for your favorite baseball player, '90s sitcom actress, rapper-turned-actor, glam-rock frontman, country music legend, governor, Soviet chairman, teenage doctor, painfully unfunny goon with a far more talented brother, Soviet dictator, other baseball player, or other '90s sitcom actress!

Cake photo by Flickr user Dan Taylor-Watt. Used under a Creative Commons License.

So far today...

  • 61323 of you visited.
  • 30% on a phone, 7% on a tablet.
  • 5213 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 914 of these.
  • We sold out at 8:09am.
  • That’s $24484 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

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