A Bright Idea

Is it possible that when our last attempt at world domination failed we decided on a new course? Instead of selling crumbly snacks and then vacuums with which to vacuum up their crumbs, we tried to trap you in a different vicious cycle of consumerism wherein we sell you a variety of affordable yet exciting devices for coffee (thus staining your teeth) before offering a teeth-whitening kit?

It’s possible.

But also, we’re selling this thing for a pretty good price. So maybe there’s nothing diabolical about it?

Then again, that’s exactly what someone with a diabolical plan would say, isn’t it?

Here’s the thing: if you have teeth, then you’ve spent some time in your life disappointed with how your teeth look. Especially if they’re not as shiny as they once were (if they were ever shiny in the first place). And maybe you’ve idly considered getting a treatment somewhere, but it’s like, doesn’t that seem like a lot? Probably pricy, for starters, and besides, you’re not a vain person. You don’t need to be spending a whole bunch of money and time trying to achieve catalog-model teeth. You’re happy with who you are!

Except on those days you’re not.

What we’re saying is, why not give this thing a try? For $15, you get what is apparently a professional-grade system, with gel, syringes, light, and everything. And it takes just 30 minutes a day. There’s no calling to schedule, no driving there, no driving home after. You can just kick up your feet, pop this thing on, and watch some Netflix while your teeth get nice and shiny.

Not bad, huh?

What we’re saying is: it’s worth a shot, right?