ProBreeze 4-Stage True HEPA Large Room Air Purifier with Ionizer

  • Powerful yet quiet
  • Removes 99.97% of dust, bacteria, and allergens from the air… and now, that last 0.03% wants REVENGE
  • Good for big rooms (up to 430 square feet)
  • “Incredible Clean Air Delivery Rate (CADR) of 218m³/hr” which is something that might mean something to someone
  • How can this be used to show interest in DnD: it can’t; for that you’ll want to head over to Mediocritee
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The Air In There

If you do a real estate search in the old part of whatever city or town you live in, you’ll see some beautiful homes. You’ll also see some peculiar ones: houses that are about a thousand square feet, with one bathroom, and somehow, like, six bedrooms. Plus a living room, and a dining room, and a separate kitchen.

Maybe they had smaller beds back in the 1800s and early 1900s? And tables? And stoves and stuff? Who knows. Point is: half those rooms are the size of a not-too-impressive walk-in closet. And so, any little air purifier would be fine to take care of them.

Homes built in the last, say, 70 years are a little different. They feature living rooms that have enough space for a sectional, a recliner, and a loveseat. And, in most cases, you can’t stand in the middle of the master bedroom, reach out your arms, and touch two separate walls.

In these cases, you’re gonna want an air purifier with some power. Like this one.

It can remove 99.97% of dust, bacteria, and allergens from the air. It’s powerful yet quiet and energy-efficient. But most importantly, it’s good for big rooms. We’re talking rooms up to 430 square feet. To put that in terms that recent college grads can understand: that’s, like, a whole ass studio apartment. Which, we should mention, this would also be great for. Also: lofts. Also: grand old homes. Also: yurts.

(Actually, we don’t know enough about yurts to say if you should put an air purifier in one, but those other suggestions are totally legit.)

So get one and get some good clean air flowing in that big old room of yours.

You know, that sounded weirder than we meant it to sound. We’re sorry.

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