A Jewel Of An Adventure Story

Dearest Rodrigo,

As my lapses in communication have become all too frequent, I hope that, from now on, the apology for such will simply be implied. As to where I’ve been, I’m almost embarrassed to admit it: Do you remember the night we deciphered the Ancient Scrolls and located the site of the Lake of Visions, in which it is said a man can see his future reflected in the pristine waters? But you said that it was almost certainly a mere myth not worth our time in pursuing?

Well Rodrigo, while I outwardly agreed with you, I must confess that the lake has weighed heavily on my mind since that evening. So, when a commissioned treasure-hunting cave-dive brought me near the apparent area, I could not resist seeing for myself.

And I must say, the lake did reflect the future: in it, I saw notorious criminal and mortal enemy Henri the Skull approaching me with several henchmen, all of them grinning murderously. This, as it turned out, was the very near future. What I saw was in fact a mere reflection; Henri and his men were immediately behind me. Luckily, I remembered the recipe for the blinding tincture you taught me–the one involving sacred water, common dirt, and a specific type of grass that grew conveniently at the lake’s edge–and was able to assemble it with haste. I combined the ingredients in my mouth, gave them a swish, and then spun around to spit them into the eyes of my stalking enemies.

Henri and his men cried out in pain and stumbled without sight, falling at last into the Lake of Visions, where they desperately (and somewhat ironically) tried to wash their damaged eyes. This earned the attention of the Lake Guard, a collective of warriors who practice an ancient form of aquatic martial arts. They emerged silently from among a cluster of lily pads to apprehend the splashing criminals. Me, they took in as a friend, and taught me many things, including said combat technique, as well as many great truths of existence. So, I have returned home these many months later a changed man.

And now my girlfriend doesn’t know what to do with me! Perhaps because I spend whole days submerged in a kiddy pool among the sprawling gardens of my estate, or perhaps due to my speaking a language that is a mixture of Latin and dolphin-speak. My only hope at redeeming myself is the Pacific Pearls Pendant Necklace I purchased her for Valentine’s Day. I will let you know if this smoothes things over.

After all, there is no jungle as thick and dangerous as love, is there, Rodrigo?

Until our next great adventure,
Gleg Tamperhorn