Too late It’s over

Pacific Pearls Genuine Mother of Pearl Necklace

Necklaces made with genuine mother-of-pearl, not that knockoff stepmother-of-pearl
17" long, or “necklace-sized”
Available colors: Dusty Rose, Vanilla, and Caramel/Mint/Dusty Rose (AKA Neapolitan)
Stringing is double strand fine silk, brought to you from across Asia Minor by camel train at terrible threat from roving Bedouin bandits
Includes certificate of authenticity, which you should rubber-band to your arm whenever wearing the necklace so people know
Model: OYS844, OYS424, OYS399 (Does this means there are at least 444 other color options of the same model? Or that 444 other colors options were conceived of but rejected? Those are the only plausible inferences)

see more product specs

Moving On

Mother’s Day is finally over, and that means we can stop pushing this pearl-based jewelry as an appropriate gift for your mother. That’s right, we can do a whole product description without using the word “mother” even once. Even in this mother-of-pearl sale. We don’t even have to think about our mothers today at all. Yup, we are totally not preoccupied with our moms.

How nice to be free of the gravitational pull of the Mother’s Day black hole. No longer must we describe mother-of-pearl necklaces as “fit for any mom” or “just good enough to count as a meaningful Mother’s Day present” or “mom-tacular.” We can finally move on and stop feeding that holiday’s unslakable narcissism (that holiday being, of course, Mother’s Day).

Nope, mom has had her time in the sun and now it’s time to focus on ourselves. We’ll no longer be defined by our relationship with our mothers. We are our own independent entities, not just our mothers’ offspring, and we can choose to buy or not buy jewelry regardless of how it impacts them (our mothers) vis a vis their love.

Having trouble moving on? Try this: Take a moment and clear your mind of all thoughts, especially those of your mother. Don’t think about your mother at all. Now that your mind is totally free of all concerns regarding your mother, whether she was upset that you didn’t do more for her yesterday, whether she is proud of you for what you have accomplished in your life, etc., simply think of anything — any single thing — that is not your mother.

Don’t think of her voice. Or her appearance. Or the way she scolded you that one time for swearing even though you didn’t know it was a bad word and your older brother had told you to say it, clearly setting you up to be reprimanded by your mother. Don’t even for a second let any of that enter your mind.

[Mother]

Feels good not to think about her for once, right?