NOTILUS Antimicrobial 3-in-1 Rain Shower Spa Combo
- Settings include: Wide Rainfall, Power Rain, Pulsating Massage, Hydro-Mist, Convenient Water-saving ON-OFF Pause Mode and multiple mixed settings. It’ll harken back to when you used to mix all the sodas together at the soda fountain, but in a good way.
- Made with EPA-registered Microban® Antimicrobial material to keep deposits from building up and reducing your water pressure. Also, less chance of mold, mildew, and bacteria, which are all bad things.
- Despite being made of heavy-duty materials, you don’t need to be a plumber to connect it. That’s right. You heard us. Go find somewhere else to flex, plumbers!
- Model: 5545, which is also the average number of dust particles that a human being acquires per minute, so go take a shower, nasty.
One With Weather
When the employees arrived at their first day at the new NOTILUS headquarters, they noticed something strange.
“There is no roof,” one of them said.
“Exactly,” said one of the higher-ups. “It’s an open-roof open-office.”
“But we won’t be protected from the rain,” said another employee.
“Exactly,” the higher-up said again.
The building had tile floors and was equipped with a siren. It sounded whenever a storm approached, at which point, the employees took the tarps provided to them and covered their computers, their phones, anything that could succumb to water damage. Then, they stood. They closed their eyes. They waited for the rain to wash over them so that they could understand it, become one with it.
Thus, when they engineered their shower heads to have 6 settings including “Wide Rainfall” and “Power Rain,” they knew these to be the true to their names. And when they built dual-zone antimicrobial jets that did not clog, it was not only to provide their customers with consistently strong water pressure; it was to mimic the rain that, year after year, never ceased to lessen in its strength.
Is any of this true?
No.
But the point stands: it’s a good shower head!
