Air Is Gross

Don’t you hate it when you pour yourself a glass of water only to realize the dishwasher didn’t do the job you had hoped it would, so there’s a bunch of grit floating around in it? It’s the worst, right? Because now you have to just drink that stuff!

Oh, you don’t just drink it? You clean the glass and pour another? Weird.

Okay, but what about when you’re having your lunch and you find a hair in your sandwich? It’s annoying, because eating hair is gross! But, unfortunately, there is no alternative. You simply must consume it.

Wait, seriously? You remove the hair? And maybe even request a new sandwich? Huh.

How about this, though: you’ve got a really nice shirt ready for your friend’s wedding. But then, while you’re ironing, you spill coffee on it. And it’s like, wow, this is going to be awkward for your friend to explain why a member of the wedding party is wearing a shirt with a huge brown stain on it. What a bummer for them and for you!

Now, hold on a second, you’re telling us that you wouldn’t wear that shirt with a stain on it? You’d launder it first?

Sorry, we just assumed you’re the type of person who would drink gritty water, or eat hair in a sandwich, or wear a stained shirt. After all, you do walk around scarfing down nasty-ass house air all day long. You know, that rank stuff filled with a whole bunch of invisible bullshit like dust, pollen, pet dander, smoke, bacteria, viruses, germs, fungi, and mold.

Unless, that is, you’ve got a good air purifier, like this one from Miko. Its oscillating intake will collect all the particles of the above-mentioned micro-garbage in a tornado motion and then efficiently pump out the fresh shit, so you’re breathing the air-equivalent of Fuji water. And with its multiple fan speeds, built-in timer, and replacement filter indicator, it’s easy as hell to use.

So get one today and start ingesting air that’s not absolutely disgusting for a change.