Too late It’s over

M Cushion Shiatsu Massage Pillow with Optional Bonus Pillow

Secret back rub robot hiding in a throw pillow
Last time we sold these, people seemed to really enjoy them
Made with dual core memory foam, only losers would own massage pillows with mono-core memory foam, come on
Deep kneading Shiatsu massage nodes simulate hands of a professional masseuse
Optional heat setting – you are not required to sing “the heat is on” when you press the button to activate it, but it is recommended
Bi-directional massage nodes go both ways
Model: DLX7, PRM7PLS – trick either model into saying its designated number backwards, and it must return to its home dimension for 90 days minimum

see more product specs

That Old Sacrum Magic

We don’t get grandiose about our work most of the time. We just help manufacturers solve problems, that’s all. Usually these problems take the form of inventory for which demand was overestimated. Ours is like a big rehoming operation for the retail world’s castoffs. The island of misfit goods! It’s a simple, honest living.

But every once in a while, testimony from a satisfied customer lets us fancy ourselves the instruments of a higher mission. Like when Meh user shells reported a Kate Chopin style awakening at the hands — or anyway the deep-kneading Shiatsu massage nodes — of this M Cushion Shiatsu Massage Pillow. (Last sold here.)

Skin flushed, breath quickened, voice quavering, shells appeared in our forum recently to ask “is anyone else having a ‘moment’ with their new M pillow?”

How to make sense of it? These feelings were exciting and new, like the Nissan Kicks, yet powerful and slightly scary, like actual kicks.

How could shells have been prepared to experience such intense pleasure from a pillow with a weird kind of like little machine thingy inside? It was all so confusing — and at the same time, so very magical.

(At least that’s how we read it. This internal monologue stuff is not in shells’s original forum post. But it feels right to us.)

“It is completely silent,” shells continued, languid now in the afterglow of unexpected ecstasy, “and has a gentle touch about it. I can almost feel two thumbs rubbing me. The heat is penetrating and I can’t wait to use it further up my spine, but especially on my neck.”

“[W]ow…” shells said, buoyed by the gentle wave of bliss which accompanied the memory. “[T]hank you [M]eh… one of my favorite purchases ever.”

No, thank you, shells. Thank you for reminding us that our work — prosaic as it sometimes seems — gratifies people. And if that gratification is sometimes weirdly intense, and descriptions of it border on T.M.I., well, that’s what we get for selling strange little pillows that rub on people.

To quote shells once more: “Happy Ending to a Meh M Pillow Purchase!”