Kitchen in a Box

  • Everything you need to start a new life (in terms of cooking)
  • It all packs into a box that doubles as a drying rack, so you can bring it to the cabin, on a road trip, or to the apartment of your friend who only owns a can opener and microwave
  • Includes a pot, pan, bowl, mixing spoon, spatula, cutting board, drying rack/container, knives, a knife block, measuring cups and strangely shaped measuring cup lids (for some reason)
  • The color you choose affects the drying rack/container and knife block, so it’s a pretty important life decision
  • Model: 12KP1001B, 12KP1001w (Whether the inconsistency in the capitalization of the letter denoting the color (“B”; “w”) is because of error on our end, error on the manufacturer’s end, or an avant-garde reinterpretation of conventional model number thought, we’ll never know)
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Judgment, Free

It’s nice that the makers of this product decided to keep the name as unspecific as possible. They could have called it a “Newlywed’s Kitchen in a Box” or a “Travel Kitchen in a Box” because those are perfectly good uses, but they didn’t. And that means those who are buying it for other reasons don’t need to feel weird or awkward.

For example, the 30-something male bachelor moving out of his parents’ place and looking for kitchen essentials can feel included in this product’s target demographic. He needn’t skulk shame-faced through the aisles of some brick and mortar retailer telling him this is the “perfect gift for the happy couple” or a “dorm room essential.”

The vacationing germaphobe who refuses to use the kitchen equipment in Airbnbs can also buy with confidence, knowing her needs are being met by this all-purpose product. Just because other people are fine using poorly-washed spatulas that have been strewn willy-nilly throughout a rental kitchen’s dusty cabinets doesn’t mean she is.

The car-camping chef who doesn’t want to prepare her food with ultra-light backpacking gear can throw this complete kitchen in the back of her Subaru without fear that someone will call her out for bringing a wedding present to the woods. “It’s a car-camping cooking set,” she can say, and no one will be the wiser.

Nor will the newly-divorced father, upon realizing that she’s never going to take him back and he’s going to have to stop eating at Buffalo Wild Wings every night, feel undue shame in purchasing this kit. Sure, his sublet is a pathetic mess and he’s using sheets for curtains, but nobody can look askance at his kitchen wares.

Let it be a lesson to other companies trying to market their product. Yes, you should target a specific demographic, but you don’t have to label your product so that anyone outside that group would feel ashamed to buy it. Remember the lesson of the Kitchen in a Box.

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