Joy Mangano 2-Piece XL/Carry-On Hardsided Luggage
- 2 bags, 1 price
- Just some good, cool-looking, hard-sided luggage
- Got those 360-degree spinning wheels for maneuvering through the airport like a friggin’ genius
- Will arrive by Christmas
- Model: JTR, which stands for “Just totally rules”
A Christmas Caper
We now return to Inspector Montaign’s Christmas Caper, presented by Mehsterpiece Theatre:
All of them gathered in the living room of the bed and breakfast to hear what the quirky inspector had to say.
“I know you’re likely thinking that I shall make some wild accusation as to who it was who killed the young actor staying here,” said Montaign, “but please, it’s Christmas, so I’d like to give a gift. To you, Mrs. Timmersworth.”
“Me?” said the feeble old innkeeper.
“Yes,” Montaign said. “You’ve been hospitable, and I wanted to give my thanks to you.”
She pulled back the wrapping paper on the two enormous gifts, revealing a set of Joy Mangano hard sided luggage.
“I thought you’d appreciate it,” said the inspector, “for your trip tomorrow. To Ixtapa. Your one way trip.”
The four guests–the disowned heiress, the disgraced physicist, the fish oil tycoon, and the traveling dictionary salesman–all gasped in unison.
“I don’t… know…” Mrs. Timmersworth began, but she couldn’t finish.
“You don’t know how I figured it out?” the inspector offered. “When you’d left such a trail of obvious clues? The one-eyed dog? The fire poker with a diamond handle? The strands of a racehorse’s hair woven into the bathmat? It all pointed so clearly to the truth: in 1983 you were given a loan by the Capaldo crime family. Interest free. The only catch: you promised that one day, you’d return the favor. And so when Cal Hilburry, the very one set to portray Anthony Capaldo in a film based on a very salacious unauthorized biography, you knew it was time to pay up and halt the film’s production the only way you could. By murdering him. So, what do you have to say?”
“They’re very nice bags,” Mrs. Timmersworth said. “Stylish and sturdy, plenty of room, and I love the 360-degree spinner wheels.”
Inspector Montaign blinked. “Wait, but I’m not actually giving you the bag.”
“What?” Mrs. Timmersworth said. “You said they were a gift!”
“Seriously? I mean, you all got that, right? That it wasn’t an actual gift?” Inspector Montaign asked, turning to the guests. But none would answer or even look him in the eye. What a bunch of idiots, thought the inspector.
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Joy Mangano 2-Piece XL/Carry-On Hardsided Luggage 42
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It's Singin' Cowboy Time: Xmas Up The Butt 6
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Are you going home for the holidays? 49
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A Beautiful Day In The Neighborhood (movie discussion) 21 -
Meh-ish Merch at Target 5 -
There’s Something in the Air, We Can Feel It 20 -
Taking offense. 11 -
Ghastly Comfort XVII 3