Negative Headspace

Unlike the JLab crap we usually sell, these headphones are pretty decent. Don’t get us wrong — low-end earbuds and speaker docks have their place, especially here at Meh. But these headphones we’re selling today stand apart from the typical JLab fare.

They sound pretty good. They aren’t garishly decorated. They have mic controls for iOS and non-iOS devices that are useful rather than intrusive (we’re looking at you, AirPods.

The best “features” of these headphones are what they don’t get wrong that so many do. They don’t look like they’re trying to emulate Beats. They don’t have Bluetooth that could suck. The mic controls keep it simple. The ear cups are not uncomfortable. Their appeal is painted in negative space by the blunders of other brands.

(The Amazon page mixes this version with its Bluetooth cousin, which most of the reviews seem to reference. Not saying you should ignore them, just keep that in mind while you peruse.)

One “feature” you may have missed while reading the 139-character Amazon title is that these are “DJ Style” headphones. What does that mean? It means one of the ear cups flips out so you can, “Spin tracks in one ear and listen to vibe of the crowd in the other.”

Barffffff.

Almost none of you will be employing these headphones in the service of spinning tracks or gauging crowd vibes. For the tiny fraction of Meh readers who may in fact be DJs, the notion that you wouldn’t already have headphones is ludicrous.

No, this “feature” is a classic example of a particular type of marketing that leverages the appeal of a particular lifestyle. In this case JLab is saying, “You know how cool DJs are, standing up there and bobbing their heads perfectly to Tiesto? You’re not that cool, but with these headphones you could be!”

For other examples of this marketing strategy, look everywhere. How many Coronas are consumed while lounging on an idyllic white sand atoll? Almost none. But that’s not the point, which is associating yourself with this idealized lifestyle by consuming their product.

This Madison Avenue strategy is hardly new, but what gets our goat about “DJ-style” aspirational marketing is the lifestyle it lionizes. We know DJs. You don’t want to be a DJ. As soon as the club lights turn on their mystique vanishes, revealing sallow visages propped awake by gallons of Monster Energy Drink, gratefully accepting $55 and a drink coupon from the club’s proprietor in exchange for their night’s services.

The lifestyle of a DJ is not something to which one should aspire.

So forget about that feature and focus on the comfort and superior sound these headphones supply while you crack open a cold Corona with the boys on a isolated lagoon before wind surfing and smoking Kool cigarettes.