Jamie Oliver 3-Piece Knife Set

  • Includes 4" paring knife, 5.25" utility knife, and 7.5" chef’s knife
  • They’re designed with, or endorsed by, or have something to do with British TV cooking sweetheart Jamie Oliver
  • Japanese MoV steel, which probably means something
  • Full tang: hope your astronauts are thirsty
  • Chunky bolsters: that’s British for “substantial, ergonomic handles just like on TV”
  • Model: JB7180
see more product specs

Keep your pants on.

Ooh, it’s tingling again. Hand me that salve, would you? That’s what I get for trying to do something special for our anniversary.

Since my girlfriend really likes that Naked Chef guy, I thought, hey, what would be more romantic than coming home to a Naked Chef of her own?

I looked up some of his recipes. I did all the shopping. I did all the chopping. With Naked Chef knives, even. Japanese MoV steel, nice sturdy ergonomic handles.

Then I stripped down so the show would be in full swing when she arrived. Not even an apron.

I guess I let the oil get too hot. I threw the chopped veggies into the wok and was seared by a spattering spray of burning oil. Everywhere. Yes, there too.

I dropped to the kitchen floor. Yelping. Frantic. Swatting uselessly at the spatters of oil on my skin. Everywhere.

That’s what she saw when she walked in. Not quite the vision of culinary eroticism I’d had in mind. I’d been going for “Adonis in the kitchen”, not “howling baby animal stung by bees.”

Then came the punchline. While I was laid up, she decides to watch some Naked Chef. We turn it on and the guy’s wearing clothes. Why is he famous while I’m laying here with my salve? It’s easy to be naked when you’ve got clothes on.

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