Horsepower Power Scrubber Deluxe Bundle
Our Take
- We learned long ago that it’s best to leave the scrubbing of our teeth up to robots
- Why has it taken this long to replace other scrub jobs?
- Looking for the IRK? It’s right over here!
Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon
ROY steps back from MR. THOMAS.
ROY
Mr. Thomas, what is going on here?
MR. THOMAS
(Fully robotic)
I’m sorry, Roy. You were a great Cleaner. But even you won’t be able to manage this mess.
MR. THOMAS pulls open his button-down shirt, revealing a metallic chest. At the center, a clock ticks down from 10 seconds.
ROY runs.
While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)
Meh-rathon
What’s a Meh-rathon?
Normally, Meh is all about one deal per day—simple. But sometimes, we throw that out the window. A Meh-rathon is an all-day gauntlet of nonstop deals. One after another, untill we run out of stuff (or patience). It's chaotic. It's fun. It's a terrible way to shop responsibly. You've been warned.
