Dry Air Is Coming

For months, you walk outside into a soupy mess and feel pit stains bloom when the sun is barely out. For months, you need to take multiple hydration breaks just to mow your suburban postage-stamp-sized lawn. For months, you think, It’s getting a little stale in here. Maybe I should power down the AC, open the windows, and air this place out. Except, when you do, you sweat through your shirt just one sketch into an episode of I Think You Should Leave.

And now, we’re offering something to keep these good times going!

Okay, not really.

What we have here is a real nice humidifier. It’s advertised as a “whole house” unit, which means it can humidify up to 2000 square feet. That might not be your whole house, or it might be your whole house and then some. Either way, it’s a powerful machine that takes in water, filters it, and then pumps out clean, fresh mist for 24 straight hours on a full tank.

But why should you buy one?

Because life is a zero-sum game.

For all the time you spend wishing for air that’s of a thickness level somewhere below ‘edible,’ there are other times of the year when you’ll curse the scratchy dryness of everything. For every summer night you struggle to fall asleep, feeling sticky and uncomfortable, there’s a cold winter morning when you wake up and find blood on your pillow because your lip cracked in your sleep. For every morning you spend a minute toweling off from your walk around the block with your dog in August, there’s a day in January when you try to heal your cracked knuckles with lotion, only to put on a little too much, rendering it impossible turn the doorknob and let yourself out of the bathroom.

What we’re saying is: the seasons might not be changing just yet, but they will soon. So get a nice big humidifier now, and be ready for when the dry hits.