Pretty Simple

So, it’s a backpack.

There’s not that much to say about it, really. It can hold up to a 15" laptop, and features a bunch of interior compartments and organizers, while looking, on the outside, sleek and understated. If there’s anything worth mentioning, it’s that the laptop sleeve is lined with faux fur. Same goes for the phone/tablet pocket. Which maybe sounds silly, but who cares? It’s inside a pocket inside your backpack. Nobody will see it.

Oh, also, it features “Anti-Microbial Technology.” That means it can apparently repel bacteria, mold, and fungus.

Which we’ll use as a lead-in for our oft-restated pitch for why you should buy a new bag: your old bag is likely getting pretty gross. Sure, maybe it’s straps are entirely intact, its zippers immaculate, its stitches barely frayed. But it spends a lot of time pressed against your back, creating sweat that has to go somewhere. And probably, it’s carried some food from one place to another. And probably, there’s been at least once when you forgot about one of these food items, only to find it a week or two later.

It has its own unique “funk,” is what we’re saying.

So why not get a new one now at a low price (relatively speaking; bags of all kinds often come with a shocking MSRP) before the zipper breaks on your current or a sizable hole forms, rendering it not just a little gross but useless too.

And then, once you receive your new backpack, maybe take extra precautions not to stink it up. Like, for example, don’t put a really nasty-smelling book in there. You know what we’re talking about. Novels like:

• Portrait of a Fartist as a Young Man
• The Picture of Durian Gray
• Their Eyes Were Watching Cod
• The Prime of Miss Jean Grody
• The Things They Carrion
• Cauliflowers in the Attic
• The Curious Incident of the Wet Dog in the Nighttime
• One Flew Over The Poo-Poo’s Nest
• Zen and the Shart of Motorcycle Maintenance

Okay, these puns stink. But this backpack does not. It is perfectly serviceable. So maybe get one if you need one. Or even if you just want a new one.