Hardwood Freestanding Pet Barrier by Richell
- Sometimes you need to do a bit more than hold your hand up and say “stay”
- Freestanding, so it doesn’t need to be crammed into a doorframe
- A sturdy and nice looking barrier
- Model: 0UT-0UT-D4MN-D06
Show Some Restraint
Hello, my name is Nigel, and I am not merely a schnauzer. No, I am an extremely refined schnauzer.
When I dig through the trash, I avoid all but the finest things: tins for holding caviar, the fat trimmed off Wagyu beef, errant truffle shavings. Furthermore, I refuse to howl along with storm sirens like my lesser brethren. Rather, I prefer yapping in unison with the sonatas of Wolfgang Mozart or, if I’m feeling a bit frisky, the compositions of Philip Glass. And when I dane to apply tongue to bottom, I do so gingerly, and with a technique taught to me by Frauline Guntz at L’Academe De L’obedience, a renowned dog training school in the Swiss Alps.
What I am getting at is that I carry myself with a certain level of class and sophistication, and so I demand accruements that fit my style.
One thing is a vintage ceramic dog bowl painted with gold accents. Another thing is that my collars must be tailored and made from fine silk. But perhaps most important is the barrier that keeps me out of certain areas.
I understand that I am not to enter some rooms. The kitchen, for example. Or the growlery. Or the ball room. Or the solarium. I am not offended by this. Rather, as a refined dog, I understand perfectly my innate lack of refinement. If I were hosting a soiree or sharing scotch with my fellow gentlemen before a fox hunt and a lengthy discussion of my oil investments, I also would not want one of the canine denomination present.
And yet, if I see a haphazard criss cross of bars squeezed into a doorframe, I admit that I feel a deep, primal desire to get through it or over it, not for what is on the other side, but because its very existence is an insult to my principals.
Thus, if you’d like to restrain a refined dog like myself, consider investing in one of these Hardwood Freestanding Pet Barriers. The bars are simple and understated, the hardwood is elegant enough to earn my respect, and the construction is sturdy enough to keep me back if the evening’s six course dinner is so alluring I simply cannot help myself, manners be damned.
Of course, another way to keep me out of a room would be to place a viola in it. Ha! A bit of a joke there. Because violas? So unsophisticated!
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