THIS. IS. AN EMERGENCY.

This is an emergency. (Sorry, some of ya’ll don’t read the headlines and it shows.)

But this isn’t the kind of emergency where you need a survival tent and ponchos. That’s a different kind of emergency—one where you would very much benefit from scooping up today’s deal whether that’s a scenario you can readily imagine or not.

No, today’s deal-related emergency is of the FOMO variety. So while we try to avoid promoting products based on fear of harm and danger (cough Hurricane season is here, ponchos are practical), it turns out that we’re all about leaning into your innate fear of missing out. Which brings us to…

…SideDeal.

Because it’s “Cheaper Than…” day over there, and that means that we have a whole mess of awesome—and, realistically, less-than-awesome—products. Except instead of our usual shtick of just making things quite inexpensive if possible, we’re going toe-to-toe with some of the heavy hitters of internet retail and saying NOT TODAY, SCUMBAGS.

Hey, Walmart. We’re coming for you. You won’t see our deal until we can see the whites of your elderly greeter’s eyes. Then it will be too late for you.

And Amazon. Sorry that your founder has expensive hobbies like going to space and building doomsday clocks in the desert, but ours has much more reasonable tastes (and we pass the savings right along).

Oh and eBay? What even happened to you? You’re supposed to be competing with pawn shops and Etsy, so we’re not sure why you’re even in this conversation, but if you want to come play our game, you better believe we’re going to beat you at it.

Want a challenge? See if you can find a better price on the deals in our Cheaper Than Anywhere event…ANYWHERE. Share your findings in today’s Meh product topic. If you’re the first to find something we’re selling in this Cheaper Than Anywhere event for cheaper elsewhere, we might even figure out a little prize or something. Note - it’s gotta be some place reputable that has more than one of the thing, so linking to your cousin Joe’s Shopify store doesn’t count, and we get to be the judge.

So let’s do this.

We’ll find the deals. Then we’ll beat the deals. (Then you buy the deals.)

Fair enough?

And if you don’t like this plan, it’s not the end of the world. But if it was the end of the world…maybe grab some tents and ponchos just to be safe?