Glister Interstellar Pro Hair Dryer with Adjustable Airflow

  • Adjustable “Infinity Flow Technology,” which is absolutely not as cool as it’s supposed to sound, but is very cool as far as hair dryers go.
  • Low EMF design emits a minimal electromagnetic field, which means you are free to style your hair without your tinfoil hat getting in the way.
  • Tourmaline gemstone infused heater that is an actual feature which I’m not making up and I can’t actually remember if I’m joking or not.
  • Model: GLS-1DRY-PR, which looks like a random license plate with just enough letters to make you think there’s a hidden message, but really you’re just reading into it and probably missed you turn a while ago.
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Buckle Up Losers, It's Science Time

A traditional hair dryer dries the hair by belligerently blowing a large and indiscriminate volume of air at the desired target. If you think about it, this is approximately as technologically sophisticated as a well-aimed caveman fart. Though to be fair, the typical caveman could not possibly fart for long enough to adequately dry your hair.

There’s a better way. Better than caveman farts. And better than old-school hair dryers that for some reason always smell a little like your old high school.

An ionic hair dryer like the Glister Interstellar Pro brings hair trying technology to the modern age. Instead of just blowing hot air like it’s predecessors, ionic hair dryers dry hair using…science?

[3 minutes of Googling]

As I was saying and definitely knew all along, the Glister Interstellar Pro dries hair by using principles of ionization that we’ll all of course remember from grade school chemistry and not need to look up right now.

[11 minutes of Googling]

Basically you can break a water molecule down into even smaller parts by hitting them with an ionic blast, which will make them evaporate faster and dry your hair more quickly. Add to that some piping hot air flow and you’re in business.

In the case of this dryer, that extra heat comes from a tourmaline gemstone, which sounds like something The Avengers would be trying to keep from falling into the wrong hands. But really, it’s just a good way to generate a lot of heat quickly, and is just something that The Avengers need to make sure doesn’t fall into the hands of anyone who shouldn’t have fabulous hair.

Anyway, the bottom line is that nobody should be using an awful old-fashioned hair dryer and you should absolutely drop $34 on one that’s going to get the job done with futuristic ions and a magic gemstone

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