At least you can burn coal.

This sack of random junk would make a terrible gift. So what is it doing here? Why, in the height of gift season, would we devote an entire day to literal garbage that nobody in their right mind would ever give as a gift? What are we thinking?

Quick, let’s think up some contrived reasons why you might, in direct contravention of the spirit of Christmas, inflict this half-bushel of detritus on someone other than yourself:

The “Oh, Shit” Gift: When you just need something, anything, literally any physical object that can be wrapped and given to anyone. We guarantee that whatever’s in your bag will have mass and take up space! It qualifies!

The Gag Gift: When you’re going to a white elephant party or some other occasion where you need to give a gift as a gag and/or that will make them gag.

The Passive-Aggressive Gift: When someone gives you something unexpectedly and you’re annoyed at the obligation to return the favor, this will send a clear but subtle warning to never do that again.

The Hate-Gift: When you just hate someone and want to stick them with unwanted garbage. Bonus aggravation if they live somewhere with strict waste-disposal regulations!

The Worst-Enemy Gift: When you really want to ruin someone’s life, give this along with a few words about how awesome Meh is, and how they should really check us out. With any luck, they’ll become a hopeless Meh addict - the most vicious revenge that the law allows.

Of course, you’ve probably already missed your chance to throw away actual American dollars on nothi- no, wait, on worse than nothing, because “nothing” doesn’t demand space in your home. If so, you’re welcome. Your fellow Mehtizens/suckers have given you the greatest gift of all.