Fitbit Flex Activity Tracker
- Tracks steps, distance, calories burned aqainst your fitness goals
- Lightweight rubber, just put it on and forget about it
- Designed more for all-day activity monitoring than for specific workouts
- Also monitors your sleep, which isn’t creepy at all, we guess
- Model: FB401BK
Hear us, Apple bastards: our hearts will never be yours!
Sons and daughters of the Fitbit, arise! The Apple oppressor surrounds us. The enemy is closing in. They want you to believe that defeat is inevitable. They command you to kneel before their glorified walkie-talkie, to admit that their overpriced, overhyped, do-it-all wonderwatch can outperform a dedicated fitness device - nay, THE dedicated fitness device.
What will you do, free people? Will you fight… or will you run?
I say we shall run!
We shall run like we never could with a heavy, expensive watch. We will run with our every step counted, every burnt calorie tallied, every move tracked against our fitness goals and wirelessly synced to the devices of our choice. We will run to live! We will run for victory!
Sometimes we will even sleep for victory! And we’ll measure and track the quality of that sleep, too!
I come to praise the Fitbit Flex, not to bury it! The enemy wants to make us into the next obsolete heart-rate watch. I say, we were the ones who made those other watches obsolete in the first place! If you still believe in the free choice of free people to freely pursue their dreams of freedom, raise your wrists in defiance! That other watch can take our fitness readings, but it can never take our Fitbits!
