Deep Cut

Fabio Viviani! Famous chef, restaurateur, television personality, and arbiter of whether something is ‘Top Chef’ or ‘Top Scallop.’

And now, apparently, a steak knife entrepreneur.

We could talk to you about the durability of the blade, what the texturing does to aid in steak-slicing, and all that. But look, here’s the most important thing: Not only will they cut through ribeye like butter (and a properly-cooked scallop like something even softer than butter), they’ll also look good doing it.

Kind of like Fabio, honestly. He’s handsome, is what we’re saying. Though, kind of a tough draw, name-wise. Hard to be ‘the handsome Fabio’ with that other Fabio around, right? Would’ve been better if his name were Igor or something.

But look, this isn’t our first foray into selling something branded with a food celebrity’s name. And it won’t be the last either. In fact, our buyers are considering a few products being pushed by TV chefs right now, and we’d love to get your take on which we should offer next!

Here’s what we’re looking at:

Bobby Flay’s Rice Crisper

Are you making Spanish food? Mexican food? Chinese food? Korean food? Or are you preparing fesenjān, a classic sweet and sour Iranian stew? Or perhaps Doro Wat is on the menu. You know, the national dish of Ethiopia. Well, if you watch Beat Bobby Flay, then you know that each of these meals, whether authentic or not, is best accompanied with crispy rice. (Includes bonus Fresno Chili Slicer and Anchovy Breadcrumb Mixer.)

Ina Garten’s Brine-a Cart-en

Preparing to brine a turkey or some pork chops? It can be such a hassle getting all the materials together. Wouldn’t it be better if you had a shelf-on-wheels that could be rolled out whenever you need to get a brine going? That’s what we have here! Ina-designed, Jeffrey-approved, and so simple to use that it’ll make you say, “How easy was that?”

Gordon Ramsey’s Idiot Sandwich Panini Press

Adorned with the following warning: “Note that, while an idiot sandwich is traditionally made by applying a slice of bread to either side of a human’s face, the Idiot Sandwich Panini Press can be dangerous if applied to human cheeks, even if there is a thin layer of bread between its heating elements and said cheeks. Intended for use in making sandwiches with non-face filling only.”

Michael Voltaggio’s Device For Ribboning, Confit-ing, and Pickling Avocados

Pretty self-explanatory, honestly.

Let us know what you think of these products in the comments, and we’ll do our best to source them. And, in the meantime, maybe buy some steak knives. Fabio demands it.