Don't Wait, Inflate

So, what we have here is a tall twin-sized air mattress. And we do mean tall. Like, sorta hilariously tall. But also, comfortable. And the air pump is built-in, so it’s easy to inflate and re-inflate day after day.

Pretty simple, right?

So let’s talk about air mattresses generally.

The cool thing about an air mattress is that you can host someone without having a devoted guest bed, which means you can host someone without having a devoted guest bedroom. You can just use your spare room as an office and then push everything to the side when it comes time to host.

Or, if you don’t have a spare room, you can just set someone in the living room without expecting them to struggle through an uncomfortable evening on a narrow couch.

But here’s our question: why not the kitchen?

Now, we’re not suggesting you put your guests there. No, what we think you should do is suggest your host put you there whenever you’re the guest.

Think about it! It’s a total fucking power move!

You’re saying, “Surround me with a bunch of knives, a stove, hard tile floors, and see if I care. I’ll sleep like a friggin’ log.” You’re proving that unlike your pampered host, with their bed in a room designed for a bed and a door that closes and blackout curtains, you don’t mind living dangerously.

Then, at night, you can move the air mattress right up next to the fridge. Why? It’s simple: you control the food, you control the home. Now your host has to ask YOU for access to THEIR OWN food. You’re subverting the entire hierarchy of the house!

And probably ensuring you’re never invited back. Yeah, on second thought maybe stick to the living room or the spare room.

And get one of these air mattresses. They’re comfy.