Duracell 900 Peak Amp JumpStarter / 6 Amp Battery Charger Maintainer

  • Your choice of a thing that jumps your battery after it’s dead or keeps it alive before it dies
  • The battery charge maintainer is good for snowmobiles, RVs, and other automobiles that sit unused for long stretches of time
  • Really it comes down to what kind of person you are: A crisis averter or a crisis preparer
  • Model: DRBC6A, DRJS30C (Unlike the criteria for high-quality deals, those for model numbers are simple and objective: simplicity, searchability, and lack of goddamn hyphens)
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What Makes A Deal, Mr. Lebowski?

I find myself contemplating matters philosophical as this year draws to its wintry close. What makes a full life? How can human civilization flourish? And are these Duracell portable jumpstarters and battery maintainers a “good deal”?

Meh writer @skemmehs here, noodling on the metaphysics of retail. In my early days in the daily deal business — 5 years ago — I would have judged the quality of a deal like this by one criterion: discount off Amazon price.

Oh, what naiveté.

I have learned that other factors are as or more important than discount, such as brand name, the frequency with which it goes on sale, and, most importantly, subjective need. That is, if you’re not going to use the thing it doesn’t matter how heavily discounted it is. And if you know you’re going to use it or were going to buy it anyway, a small discount can be huge.

In the past year I’ve become obsessed with finding cheap flights (I even started a service to help others find them). And a similar problem arises when trying to determine whether a flight deal is “good.”

For example, deals to Australia are relatively rare and relatively expensive — $1000 is a good price for a roundtrip ticket from Dallas to Sydney. But does that make a “good deal”?

It is a good deal if the potential purchaser:

  • Has $1000 to spare
  • Was already planning a trip to Australia or was interested in Australia
  • Doesn’t mind visiting a place full of animals that can kill you

It’s not a good deal if the potential purchaser:

  • Wants to take a cheap vacation
  • Isn’t particularly interested in Australia
  • Values their life

Likewise, these Duracell thingamabobs are a good deal if the potential purchaser:

  • Has $50 to spare
  • Has an automobile
  • Is absentminded enough to leave their dome light on or presentminded enough to maintain their rarely-used batteries on a regular basis

And not a good deal if the potential purchaser:

  • Is short on cash
  • Doesn’t have an automobile
  • Has a partner who takes care of this kind of shit

There is no objective quality inherent in the product, features, or price itself that makes something a “good deal.” Turns out the thing that makes a high-quality deal was inside us … all along.

So far today...

  • 67205 of you visited.
  • 39% on a phone, 6% on a tablet.
  • 4990 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 454 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $21801 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

Which items are you buying?