We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

Cyntur JumperPack Mini Lithium-Ion Jumpstarter

  • This thing can jump 4, 6, and 8 cylinder cars. Sorry Volkswagen W12 owners. We know there are a lot of you here.
  • It’s also a light with 200 lumens and can charge phones and tablets via its 2.1A USB port.
  • “Safejump technology prevents reverse charge and over-current for safe, reliable jumpstarting” seems important to know.
  • Pre-charged 12,000 mAh li-ion internal battery has 250 cranking amps.
  • Model: CTJSLIA, in honor of Josh and Lia of Connecticut, winners of the Cyntur’s first ever We’ll Name A Model Number After You (Sorta) Contest.
see more product specs

Horror Averted

EXT. SCARY COUNTRY ROAD - NIGHT

A group of teens gather around their car. In the distance, an owl hoots. The bushes nearby rustle, distracting the teens for a moment, before they return their attention to the task at hand.

RICKY
It won’t start. It’s all your fault, Greg!

GREG
My fault?! I just asked if you could pull over so I could get some air! I was feeling car sick! I didn’t know the car wouldn’t start back up again.

LISA
I’ve got a bad feeling about this.

TAMMY
Everyone, relax. I’ve got a–

TAMMY is drowned out by the noise of an approaching truck. Driving it is a creepy FARMER. He comes to a stop next to the teens.

FARMER
Looks like y’all could use some help. No problem, I’ll give you a ride, the ride of your lives… [whispering, with an evil grin] and deaths.

TAMMY
That won’t be necessary. As I was just trying to explain, I have a Cyntur JumperPack. It can jump 4, 6, and 8 cylinder engines.

FARMER
Oh… Okay, then… but… are you sure you don’t want to take the ride of your lives… [whispering, with an evil grin] and deaths?

TAMMY
We can hear you when you say, ‘and deaths.’

FARMER
I don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, I better get going. Bye, y’all.

The FARMER peels off.

GREG
Great, now we’re stuck out here! Alone! With no way of getting home!

RICKY
What are we going to do?!

TAMMY
Do you people just not listen? We’re going to jump my car.

LISA
How will you see what you’re doing?

TAMMY
With my Cyntur JumperPack’s built-in 200 lumen LED light.

RICKY
Hey, do the rest of you see… her?!

Off in the distance, illuminated just slightly by the glow of TAMMY’s light, we see a LITTLE GIRL. She is dressed all in white clothes that appear to be from another time. Off-kilter music box music plays.

She looks up at them. Her eyes contain no pupils. She opens her mouth to speak just as the car engine comes to life. TAMMY sits in the driver’s seat.

TAMMY
Alright, everyone in. Let’s get out of here.

The LITTLE GIRL takes a step towards them.

RICKY
She’s coming this way!

TAMMY
She’s walking. We have a car. Let’s go.

Above them, two clouds part, revealing a full moon. GREG starts to scratch himself all over.

GREG
You know, I’m starting to think that wasn’t car sickness after all. I wonder if this has something to do with being bit by that strange creature in the park last time the moon was full.

GREG begins sprouting hair from his arms and face.

RICKY
He’s a werewolf!

LISA
Call for help!

RICKY
I can’t! My phone is dead!

TAMMY
Um, you can charge it with my Cyntur JumperPack.

RICKY
There’s no time!

LISA
Run! This way! Into the darkest part of the woods!

TAMMY
But, we have the car…

LISA and RICKY take off running. GREG, now a full-blown werewolf runs after them, followed by the creepy LITTLE GIRL.

TAMMY
I need to find some new friends.

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