Big Day Today
80I’m feeling like an adult.
About 5 years ago, shortly before I turned 30, I decided to leave my husband. I’ve spoken about it before, but, basically the main reason was that he cheated on me and refused to get help. He was also a bit of a deadbeat and held me back. I had lost all my motivation and had no idea where I was going in life. It was hard to take that leap, but in the end, I was so much happier. I was no longer broke all the time even though I was the only one supplying any kind of income.
Now, I’m 35. I still don’t have everything together but I’m making progress. I made the leap and finally purchased my first house. I just closed today. It’s actually been in the works for months. I didn’t want to jinx anything by talking about it. There’s been a lot of bumps along the road buying this house. First, the septic had to be fixed. Then in the middle of finalizing everything, the roof needed repairs. This pushed everything a few months back. Once I thought everything was great, I just kept having one stupid issue after another come up. Dealing with a person that didn’t do their job which caused delays and aggravation. The last three weeks have been an absolute nightmare for me. Been completely miserable.
It finally happened though. I’m pleased as punch. I quietly celebrated with a piece of apple pie and some whipped cream. I also watched about 4 hours worth of gardening videos trying to get ideas.
The house was built in the 70s and has the original kitchen. I’ve been daydreaming about redoing the kitchen for weeks.
It’s a smaller house, but it suits me fine. It appraised for more than I bought it for, so that is great news to me.
I still don’t feel like a grown up, but I do feel like an adult.
- 41 comments, 85 replies
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Wow! Home ownership is the BEST! Congratulations!
@therealjrn thank you!
I’m so excited for you!
@sammydog01 thanks!!
Congrats, congrats! You did it! Yeah, it seems like it took forever, but I’m sure it will be well worth all of the hassles they put you through. I hate the house buying process.
@Barney thank you thank you.
Wonderful! When are you moving in?
@Kidsandliz already living here, lol. Worked out great!
@RiotDemon Wow closed and moved in on the same day. You were busy!
@Kidsandliz haha, no. Been renting for a while.
Awesome! Congrats!
@ACraigL thanks!
Congratulations
Love the picture in the header
@speediedelivery thank you. Wouldn’t be my house if it didn’t look spooky!
Congrats!
It’s coming up on 9 years for me. The work hasn’t stopped (athough it was a fixer to begin with), but it’s been worth it.
@narfcake thanks! I believe it. The house isn’t in bad shape, it’s just old. Luckily it’s had several major repairs. Cement hardi board siding, new septic, new well pump, newer ac, new water heater. Mostly it’s cosmetic stuff now.
@RiotDemon Nice. Way better than “HVAC doesn’t work”, “damaged siding”, and “water main leak” that I got to deal with.
OTOH, it was among the very very very very few that were my budget, and the other house in the running had a cracked foundation. At least it wasn’t raining on the first floor like one house I looked at.
Two story houses should NOT be raining on the first floor!
@narfcake wow. What a nightmare! I’ve been fortunate by renting this house before I bought it. I got to see the ins and outs. I don’t anticipate any surprises.
@narfcake What? You didn’t want your own private lake in your livingroom?
@RiotDemon The “last service” sticker on the filter was 1982.
@Kidsandliz Needless to say, I passed on that house.
CONGRATS!!!
The nice thing about small homes is everything costs less! Maintenance, renovations, utilities, etc…
Love it! It’s YOURS!
@mfladd thank you. I’m excited for the future.
Congratulations! Buying a house is very frustrating but homeownership is great!! I hope you love it
@qwerty82 thank you.
Woohoo! Congratulations! Chocolate to celebrate!
@duodec awww yisss!
/giphy chocolate
huh…you’re approximately my age…interesting
@medz is it interesting??
@RiotDemon
@medz
Congratulations! Good for you!!
@LemonTheCat thanks!
Congratulations, and I’ve just burned virtual sage for you. So when is the housewarming, and what can we bring?
@OldCatLady you can bring the food!
How wonderful! Congratulations! Enjoy every minute of the work you put into it. One day you will have the house of your dreams.
@sophi thank you!
Congratulations! Home ownership is the best. And in case you didn’t know, kitchen appliances are available in just about any color these days. No need to limit your dream.
@lordbowen thanks!
Congratulations! I am so happy for you. I know you have been living there for a while, but now you can really make it your own. How fun!
@kathyl yes. I’m super excited. Painting is towards the top of my list.
That’s awesome! Congratulations, @RiotDemon.
So glad adulting is working out for you!
@kdemo thank you!
Congratulations! Two of your comments made me smile:
I’ve owned 3 houses and they’ve all been older than your place. Bought my first in 1988 in St Charles, MO; built in 1920. Moved to Ft Worth, TX; bought a place in 1994 (built in 1919). Moved into my ‘new’ house (built 1964) in 2002.
Grew up working on fixer-upper projects with my parents and other family. Dad (an architect & college instructor of building construction) emphasized the relative value of older homes - the quality of workmanship & materials is often MUCH higher, even tiny places in ‘lower end’ neighborhoods.
@compunaut when I was talking to a coworker about my kitchen, they were shocked when I told them it was actually in good shape. The cabinets are flat front covered in almond laminate with green laminate counters. Truly yuck.
The last place I stayed at, the cabinets were rotting apart.
I grew up in a handy family so I’m hopeful about the future.
@RiotDemon “High quality vintage kitchen cabinetry”
/image It’s not a thing
Usually it’s an oxymoron
@compunaut - And don’t get me started on knob-and-tube wiring!
@riotdemon - Renting the place first was VERY smart. “Built in the '70s” does not usually equate with “the quality of workmanship & materials is often MUCH higher.”
BUT congratulations, home ownership IS worth it - though there WILL be issues - learning - competencies developed - stories to share!
@aetris luckily I have a good support network. I have a friend that already has been asking, “so when are we redoing your kitchen?” Between him, my brother, and I we can probably accomplish anything.
Happy House Day!!
May you live there long, well, and in peace.
@PhysAssist thanks!
I am so proud of you. Good things can happen if we just put our minds to it. You are a great example! I hope, which I am sure you did, you learned some good lessons through the issues with the house. Perhaps one of the best lessons is patience and it is one of the hardest to learn. God’s speed. No apple pie, but how about a piece of
@wrallredsr pumpkin? I’ll take it!
I meant, you said you sat down and had a piece of apple pie. They didn’t have an emoticon of apple pie. so I said, have a piece of pumpkin pie instead with their emoticon of pumpkin pie. With all your patience accomplishing all you did you deserved another piece of pie. Heck, I think you deserve the whole pie.@RiotDemon
@RiotDemon, let me add my Congratulations! What a great time for you, and it’s like a gift to the rest of us as well. I always love good news. :-}
(I also love remodeling, and look at my kitchen with longing, every once in a while. No, there’s nothing wrong with it. Dammit.)
@Shrdlu thanks so much!
The biggest issue with my kitchen is the lack of storage. Right now it’s an L shape. Meanwhile, there’s a third wall where they could of put more cabinets. Instead there’s just a window. I have room for a tall, albeit narrow, pantry cabinet and another base cabinet as well. It will also give me about 3 more linear feet of counter. I’m confused as to why they would of put a window there in the first place because not even 22" away is an 8’ sliding glass door.
I like to cook and bake and have way too many kitchen gadgets, utensils, pots and pans, etc. The pantry would be great so I can organize better. Right now I am storing stuff on top of my cabinets because I don’t have the room.
@RiotDemon If the window is over the sink that was an expectation for many back then.
@Kidsandliz no. On a different wall. Just odd.
@RiotDemon yeah that is weird. Maybe if it looks into the back yard it is so a parent in the kitchen can keep an eye on kids or something… you never know how the original builder customized a house for someone based on quirks.
@Kidsandliz that would make sense if there wasn’t a giant sliding glass door next to it. I guess if you always kept curtains across the door, the window makes sense.
You go, Riotdemon! That is wonderful, congratulations!!
@moonhat thanks!
I’m so happy for you! The bumpy parts of our life help us appreciate the smooth ones. Congratulations and wishes that you fill that new home with love and laughter!
@mehbee thank you. I’ve definitely had some learning lessons along the way.
Congratulations! Did you put the ceremonial batteries in the proverbial fridge yet?
@shahnm almost forgot!
Awesome!
How will the neighbors react once you get that new sound system up and running?
@2many2no haha. Haven’t had any complaints yet!
Wonderful news! I remember buying my house… they accepted my offer on 9/11. Such a horrible day, but I was happy too. Strange. If you are planning a vegetable garden, look into raised beds. Much easier to take care of than planting directly into the ground. I wish you well.
@mehnyblooms thank you! Definitely going to do raised beds or containers. The soil is super sandy here. I think I’ll start with some containers and then build the garden I want over time. I have my eye on something like this:
Very expensive kit though. Around $2600. I know I could build my own, but I’m torn about using wood. I like the idea of this because I could put chicken wire to keep the hungry squirrels out. The height also works to support taller veggies.
@RiotDemon Keeping the wood from eventually rotting though would be tougher.
@RiotDemon - I remember we used railroad ties when I was a kid, but there were no deer or rabbits around.
@Kidsandliz @aetris my brother works with metal for a living. I wonder if it would be feasible to make a metal one. I’ve been watching a gardener from Australia that uses metal raised beds and he’s given me lots of ideas. Granted he’s got a huge homestead and I’ve got a tiny yard.
/youtube self sufficient me raised garden beds
@RiotDemon Concrete blocks make excellent raised beds. Check out this gardener’s pictures. She did have galvanized tubs, but concrete is her choice now.
@RiotDemon - I guess if you PAINT it you could use pretty much anything - the good thing about the ties is that they had been treated to prevent rot. Metal would otherwise rust - but I guess depending on what you’re planting that could give you interesting results?
@OldCatLady concrete has been on my radar as well. I keep checking for people selling cheap block. I keep finding places that are selling them for regular price, lol.
@aetris @RiotDemon '…One common treatment is creosote, an insecticide, sporicide, miticide and fungicide that penetrates deeply into pressure-treated wood for a long time. If the railroad ties are old, creosote may ooze out, leeching the soil and killing plants, insects and small animals. Creosote also pollutes the local watershed and can be dangerous to health with prolonged or frequent contact. Wood oozing creosote should be disposed of immediately as municipal solid waste. Railroad ties coated in creosote are not intended for use in landscaping and should not be used… Wood coated in chromated copper arsenate (CCA), which appears green, can be even more dangerous. This preservative protects against rotting with chromium, copper and arsenic, and it is a common alternative to creosote for treating railroad ties. The arsenic in the wood is toxic, making it a danger to plants and wildlife that have prolonged contact with it. CCA- treated railroad ties should be disposed of through municipal means…
@OldCatLady @RiotDemon - Creosote was indeed wonderful stuff, but you can’t get it anymore - along with lead paint, DDT, and asbestos!
Sigh - the good old days:
@RiotDemon How well does cedar hold up down there in FL?
Almost forgot: Congratulations!
@aetris @OldCatLady @RiotDemon Ahhh but you can make creosote if you really, really want it. We had a creosote still when I lived in NW Ontario in the winter. Burn assorted pines not completely cured in an air tight wood burning stove, hang a #10 can at any outside elbow in the stove piping chimney. Bingo. Plenty of creosote (and chimney fires - speaking from experience here - we left a ladder against the building and hung a tray by a rope so one was handy to cut off the air from above too).
@msklzannie no idea, but it sure is expensive!
@Kidsandliz - apparently it’s still prepared commercially but there are all kinds of rules about using it. It really is wonderful stuff and we never had any problems using the ties (the creosote didn’t kill any weeds WE had, )! Ya can’t get it at Home Depot, though.
@RiotDemon True but you wouldn’t have to worry about chemicals leaching into the soil and then into your food. Plus it naturally repels at least some insects.
Awesome news!!! One step at a time, and good luck with the garden!!!
@sre_va thanks!
Well done! I bought my last house in 2010 and it was built in 1957. Not the best shape but it’s my house! Congrats!!!
/giphy thumbs up
@hey_zeus thank you! A lot of people I know have these huge extravagant houses compared to me. They usually have a supportive spouse to help pay for it though, so I think I’m doing ok with my little house.
Congratulations, both on figuring out a life that works for you and for the house itself!
@Kawa thanks!
Congratulations. I would say you are WELL on your way to having your @#$& together!!!
@thebrat I don’t recognize your name.
/giphy Hi!
@thebrat thanks!
Congratulations! I know how stressful it all can be. I close Friday.
@lseeber Congrats to you too!
@lseeber good luck!!
@lseeber Congrats!!
@narfcake @RiotDemon @kidsandliz Thanks!
Congrats to you! On taking the leap five years ago, being a strong, independent woman, and your new home !!! Been there done that 25 years ago. I’m happy for you girlie.
@tngrannyd thanks so much.
holy shit! congratu-fucking-lations!!
may your weeds be few and your neighbors be awesome!
@carl669 thanks so fucking much!
It’s wmvery empowering to have your own place, that you bought. There are great gardening ideas on Pinterest and maybe look into some Meetup gardening clubs. Great way to meet new people. Oh, and never look back. You’ve come a long way and you did it yourself!!!
@AZnatural1 thanks for the ideas!
^^^^ very^^^^
Congratulations on adulting so well! There is nothing like your own nest for rest and respite.
Also, we just learned this week that if you can afford GOOD paint, it’s soooo worth it. My husband is moving his home office into an old guest room and Sherwin Williams was having a 40% off sale. The Emerald tier paint wasn’t cheap but it’s a dream to work with.
@LinnE thanks for the tips. Painting is definitely on my radar. I’m not a huge fan of painting because I’m so picky about the outcome, haha.
The only serious money I’ve ever made, I made on real estate.
@adphotoman You have been lucky then. I had (no choice) sell my house in the middle of the housing crash it is sold seriously short.
@Kidsandliz I hope it doesn’t scare you away from the market. I’ve sold 3 houses and 6 rental properties without the assistance of a realtor. I made money on all of them although I purchased several of them during the crash when prices were significantly depressed. Timing is everything.
Congrats on the purchase of your home! It’s exciting to take the keys for the first time and walk in knowing it’s yours.
I’ve redone a couple of kitchens over the years. In our first home, I built custom cabinets and spent months putting it together. At the time, we had 3 children under the age of 4 and it was a nightmare. Well, not a nightmare, but between cooking, cleaning and diapers, I found very little time to actually work on anything.
The second kitchen I redid was our current home and my kids were a few years older. After pricing lumber, I decided the cost of building vs buying wasn’t great enough to go through the nightmare again. So, I decided to order my cabinets from a flat-pack ready-to-assemble company called RTA Cabinet Store. They were solid wood (even the door panels) and had zero MDF or particle board. What took literally months before only took a day or two and I was super happy with them. The kitchen project still took a few weeks, but not like the first time around. The entire project came in under my $10,000 budget and was able to spend a little more on the farm sink and granite countertops my wife so desperately wanted and the undercabinet lighting I insisted on installing. I highly recommend at least considering the RTAcabinetstore.com if you plan on replacing your cabinets.
@capguncowboy thanks. Will take a look. Kitchen looks great!
Congratulations! I hope for all your house projects to be successful ones!
@pyroguy7 thank you!
So much congrats!!!
Way to go, working they everything to get to this day!
You know you are the best, right?
Is your house the modern “all sealed up” design?, or is it older and does it have lots of windows meant to be opened?
If the latter, then I suggest planting shrubs around the house and letting them get up to window sash height.
For starters, these can cool and insulate to some degree the lower walls.
And … other huge potential pleasant-living bennies on good days also. (Hint: you do with them what your great-grandmother would have done with them. More info later.)
I hope you have, or get, some nice trees.
How about some citrus trees? Playing football or baseball with enormous lemons and oranges can be really fun.
And avocadoes …
And some shade trees. Of course!
May the local alligators live elsewhere!
/giphy “lemon football”
@f00l no plants under the windows. Makes hurricane shutters impossible to put up. Maybe in-between? Since I’ve lived here a bit renting, I’ve learned that my electric bill isn’t bad. I have trees already. Smaller palms in the front, giant oak and palms in the back. Not sure how fruit trees would do since I have a lot of squirrels around. My yard isn’t that big, so I really can’t plant more trees unless I remove what I have.
@RiotDemon
Re shrubs:. More info later.
I’m so happy for you.
Did you buy a “sealed-type house” or an older one?
Do palmetto bugs love your house?
@f00l @RiotDemon Shrubs…
The suspense is killing me, and I’m pretty sure this “future info” will like get whispered anyway…
@f00l older house. Don’t really see the flying palmetto type roaches. Bigger roaches in the garage occasionally, that’s what good bug spray is for.
@f00l @Limewater haha, I’m clueless.
@RiotDemon When I lived in MS I had plenty of lizards all over the place. The cats took care of the ones that got into the house. Cat treats! Do you have those around?
@Limewater @RiotDemon
I didn’t mean to be mysterious about shrubbery. I was just so busy today.
Here goes:
In the 1st half of the 1900’s or more, when A/C was pretty uncommon, people used various creative means to cool their houses.
Whole house fans pulled the air thru every room. . And large porches not only gave pleasant places to sit and socialize, but also shaded the windows and walls from the sun.
Shrubs up to window sill height or higher
(not necessarily right up against the wall, and these were part of every house/yard, even right on the coast, even in hurricane country - it was ok to plant them with run for a person or a person on a ladder behind them)
were a big part of the house cooling routine.
In the summer - mom told me - everyone used fans to pull air across a room, over the chairs or the beds, in one window and out the other.
And they would water-spray the shrubs from top to bottom with a hose periodically, every few hours, esp in the afternoon and early evening.
The fans pulling air from the outside into the rooms were powerful. The air would travel across the shaded wet leaves of the shrubs and cause evaporation of the water droplets and fine mists, which lowered the temperature of the air and can make for a very pleasant experience.
People also soaked cheesecloth or similar lightweight cloth, and hung strips of it down the windows, to create the same effect.
Same principle as a yard-mist-sprayer that attaches to a hose. Or to a swamp cooler, I suppose.
Obviously, the most pleasant and dramatically effective results come in dryer climates.
But it works quite nicely in wet climates also, such as that in Houston or in southern Louisiana or along the Gulf and southern US Atlantic coasts.
If the plantings were located and spaced correctly, and if the shrubs were pruned, this never stopped anyone from putting up storm windows. The older members of my family had lots and lots of hurricane stories.
Their houses were all designed and landscaped this way when they were growing up. Even those who lived right on the Gulf.
This is one reason that, in the south, before universal A/C, every house was built with possible cross-current-ventilation windows and was landscaped that way with shrubbery, and hopefully, was built with big porches.
For the cooling effects.
Of course, now, with A/C, no one lives that way. And new houses are built to be sealed.
And you are, I think, in mid-south FL, where it will stay at temps and humidity where you will want to run the A/C full-time much of the year, if not all of it.
(I have been in the Gulf Coast in S Fl in every season - I know it’s always hot and impossibly humid - I know you can develop a deep longing for February there.
And you can, living there, during “winter”, put on long-sleeved t-shirts, just for the nostalgia, for the memory of cooler air, sometimes.)
(I remember seeing “clear” afternoon Florida skies that were silver-grey instead of blue, because the humidity was so high. This is not unusual. Esp in summer.)
But some times of year, when the temps are ideal - late fall to late Feb, perhaps - if you have really good screens, it might be really pleasant to open your windows.
And really really air the place out.
And remember what it’s like to breathe fresh air while you are indoors.
And, if you have some decent fans and shrubbery, then:
first, thoroughly mist your shrubs.
And then turn on your fans in a pattern to pull air across the plantings and into the house.
It can be rather wonderful, on the right day.
/giphy breeze
@f00l it is way too hot here to open windows. I’ll open them during the winter, and that’s it. My last power bill was $107 so even though the house is old, apparently it’s insulated well. I’m very low maintenance do if I did plant something, it would have to grow very slow where I some need to trim it often. The way this house is, the shrubs would have to be a couple of feet from the house for me to fit in there.
@RiotDemon
In Florida, I was fantasizing, perhaps Nov-Mar for this use. If you were so inclined.
That’s ok. It can be wonderful just to open the windows on a fine day.
So, I hope, sometimes you do.
@f00l @RiotDemon Wow. That’s way more interesting and useful and way less about pot, booze, or below-the-waist nudity than I was expecting.
Maybe your great grandmother was different than mine.
She did live in Florida, though.
@f00l @Limewater lol, she said shrubs, not bush.
@Limewater @RiotDemon
Here in Texas we got presidential versions of each.