Loud Looks

Look, this isn’t Cuisinart’s fault.

Yes, they ultimately made the decision to put out a totally fine set of knives with super loud designs on them for some reason, a decision whose viability we won’t comment on, except to say… uhh… there’s a reason these so often end up on sites like ours for about half of what they should cost.

But again, Cuisinart really can’t be blamed for such a goofy product. Instead, one must look to the way large corporations function. Because anyone who’s ever worked for a huge, billion-dollar conglomerate can probably guess what happened here.

Some upper-middle-manager called some lower-middle-manager into their office and said, “I’d like you to employ best-in-class practices to move the needle and thus disrupt the knife market with innovative new products.”

And the lower-middle-manager said, “Yes, of course, right away!”

And this message was conveyed down the line, with no one asking the important question. Which is: how do you innovate knives? Like, the coffee machine department can build a new coffee machine that makes better coffee quicker, and the toaster department can make a new toaster you can control from your phone that browns sourdough more evenly than any model previous. Knives, though? They’re just knives. Sure, some are better for one thing or another, but it’s not like Cuisinart CEO is going to get up on the stage for a live-streaming event and say, “Introducing… the Santoku X-10, now with a larger touch screen than any other santoku on the market!”

Anyway, the message is eventually conveyed to whoever actually has to do the thing. And that person realizes they have two options: they can either invent an entirely new type of kitchen knife, or they can take advantage of corporate middle management’s tendency to confuse newness with innovation by slapping a cute design on some classic knives and calling it a day.

Now, we should be clear: we’re happy they did the latter! Because these are really good knives that we can offer for the price of not-so-great knives due to the fact that they look a little silly. Which, by the way, doesn’t matter, unless you and your friends love to get together on a Friday night and cut onions as a group. Otherwise, these things can hang out in the knife drawer, gaudy and unseen, until it’s prep time for dinner.

So get a set today, and turn someone else’s misguided business decision into some great savings on great kitchen gear!