Foreman knockoff? More like Foreman knockout!

“Good evening, fight fans! Hope you’re hungry, because we’ve got a feast of the fistic arts on the menu tonight! The thoroughbred upstart Cuisinart 5-in-1 is facing off against the champ in a battle for the indoor electric grill championship! How do these fighters stack up against each other, Marv?”

“Well, Marv, everybody knows what the champ is capable of. But the Cuisinart has learned from the best in the business, and has a few new tricks up his sleeve. Should be a great fight.”

“And there’s the opening bell! The two grills circle each other on the counter… you can tell there’s no love lost between the grizzled old champ and the sleek young challenger… Oh, and the Cuisinart unloads with his adjustable temperature controls! The champ is clearly shaken!”

“This fight is heating up fast, Marv.”

“You said a mouthful, Marv. The champ probes the Cuisinart’s defenses with a plastic drip tray… the challenger swats that aside easily… and counter-punches with an integrated drip tray of his own! The champ is knocked back on his heels! How can the champ recover, Marv?”

“He needs to unleash that adjustable cover to really get back in this, Marv.”

“And that’s exactly what he does - but OH the Cuisinart counters with an even more adjustable cover! And he follows it up with removable heating plates that you can use in five different grill/griddle configurations! The champ is on the ropes! It’s lucky for him that the challenger’s waffle plates are sold separately!”

“Nothing’s going the champ’s way tonight, Marv.”

“And the challenger’s heating plates are dishwasher safe! The champ is down for the count!”

“I’ve said it a million times, Marv, that cleaning has always been the champ’s big vulnerability. I saw it myself in St. Louis in '09 when @JasonToon took his Foreman grill into the temporary Woot office he was sharing with @Dave at the time. Jason even warned Dave beforehand that the grill would be kind of gross no matter how much Jason tried scrubbing it with a soapy sponge - and Dave was STILL totally grossed out. The champ was lucky to escape that one. Oh, wait, there’s still a fight going on, isn’t there, Marv?”

“It ended thirty seconds ago, Marv - with a nice clean KO for the new champion, the Cuisinart 5-in-1!”