smartass answers to standard interview questions
12i wonder what a job interview would be like at meh/mediocre. just in case, i'm writing down my answers right now.
Q: What would you bring the team?
A: I'm Indian. So I'd diversify the shit out of your team. You like samosas? No?! Well, I'll teach you to like them jackass!
Q: Tell us about a time you had a conflict with someone and how you handled it.
A: I listened calmly to their side of the issue and then reached a compromise that would benefit everyone. Later, I threw rotten eggplants on their car.
Q: What would you consider some of your strengths?
A: I have a knack of being able to get along with just about anyone. Also, I don't get hangovers. Ever.
Q: What would you consider some of your weaknesses?
A: Sometimes I focus on a problem too much and it can impact other issues that need my attention. Also, I routinely don't bring enough pickled jalapenos to eat with my lunch.
Q: If you were a superhero, who would you be?
A: I have no idea. But I sure as shit wouldn't be Aquaman.
Q: If you were offered the job, when could you start?
A: Job? I thought I was here for the murder investigation. Now, do you want to know where the bodies are or not??
- 4 comments, 5 replies
- Comment
Seriously though the interview process at Mediocre was the most in-depth and toughest I've ever been a part of.
It was extra satisfying to be offered the job knowing how tough the process was and how selective everyone here is.
ok. who wants to be the one to break it to @JonT that he really got the job because he got a higher dice roll than the other guy?
@carl669 I thought @JonT was the only one who applied.
@carl669 The amazing part is the dice he rolled was totally not rigged!
@narfcake Or was it!?!?
@Thumperchick
Totally not rigged.
Q: What would you bring the team?
A: A lifetime of debt and misery. In fact let's be partners 50/50. 40 Grand should do it as we now share the debt!
Q: Tell us about a time you had a conflict with someone and how you handled it.
A: By law I am forbidden to answering this due to ongoing litigation.
Q: What would you consider some of your strengths?
A: I can umm
Q: What would you consider some of your weaknesses?
A: Medical information protection act.
Q: If you were a superhero, who would you be?
A: I am the Batman
Q: If you were offered the job, when could you start?
A: Last year, and I expect full backpay.
Q: What's your greatest weekness?
A: Answering questions that are spelled incorrectly.
Q: What's your greatest weakness?
A: i have 2 computers with 2 wireless mouses on my desk. I sometimes get confused as to which mouse goes to which computer. I can take me in excess of 10 seconds to figure it out. #NailedIt
(what do you mean Meh doesn't do anything with hashtags???)