Don't do what Menudo.

Unlike the reception Cool Gear stuff usually gets around here, you guys were noticeably “cool” toward these containers when we ran them last Thanksgiving. Makes sense: it’s not like you could leave your leftovers out on the counter until your Meh order arrived. But now that we’ve lowered the price, and picnic season is on the way, we think you might feel different - especially after you watch this:

Yes, three decades ago, the Latin-pop boy band Menudo raised this terrifying warning about how a picnic could go disastrously wrong without collapsible, air-tight, BPA-free plastic containers. Walk with us through the darkness:

0:16: Don’t be deceived by the sunshine, the cheery singalong, the coordinated t-shirts. Look behind the wheel of that classic convertible. There lurks a grim and glowering presence to signal the journey we’re about to take, a ferryman carrying these accursed souls across the river Acheron to the picnic of the damned…

0:33: The lack of appropriate containers forces the boys in Menudo to crowd along one side of a huge picnic blanket. They jostle rhythmically for a nibble at a single sodden wedge of watermelon.

0:42: A mustachioed chef from a pizza box has come to life! He tempts the unsuspecting boys with his best demonic guess at appropriate picnic food: French fries. The boys cheerfully accept, not yet fully aware that their inexorable descent has begun.

0:45: The chef offers another gift: butter. Just a stick of butter on a dish, without so much as a Pop’n’Fresh biscuit to spread it on. This, too, the boys accept. What else can they do, with no Cool Gear containers of their own, full of fresh food to eat?

0:48: Now, two fistfuls of raw carrots, offered with a shrug. Why bother with anything more appealing? The chef knows the boys are fully under his demonic sway.

0:53: Locked in a grim Saint Vitus dance, the boys chant a pitiful plea for some kind of mercy: “I’m very hungry.”

0:54: Employing the same dark magic that he used to turn the picnicking boys into living marionettes, the demon chef conjures a full platter of fried chicken. The boys eat with gusto, daring to hope their ordeal is over.

0:58: Wrong. With an imperious sneer, the chef taunts the starving youths with a single raw eggplant. The mercy of the boys’ God is as lost as their Cool Gear food storage system.

1:01: Driven mad by the torment, one of the boys laughs hysterically, only to get pelted, in a vicious irony, by delicious cream pies.

1:11: The chef joins the boys as they dance yet again, still chanting about their hunger.

1:34: A plague of biting, stinging insects descends. Still the boys must dance.

2:03: It starts all over again. Hell is a music video with a budget so low they can’t shoot three entire minutes of footage. The boys eat and dance, dance and eat, through a nightmare from which they will never awake.

In their suffering, Menudo prove the truth in the ancient proverb: you don’t need five collapsible air-tight BPA-free plastic food containers to keep a demonic chef from turning you into his playthings, but it sure helps!