A toast to severing ties to Donald Trump.

Join us, won’t you, in filling these 18 wine glasses with your choice of white wine, red wine, and highballs to celebrate our societal agreement to sever all ties with Donald Trump?

Yes, we’ve all gotten some hearty laughs out of the hair and the pompous mannerisms and “all of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me” and “we need global warming” and “Robert Pattinson should dump Kristen Stewart” and other manifestations of his ongoing psychic collapse. But calling Mexicans “rapists and drug runners”? The sweet milk of ridicule has turned sour. We can’t even laugh at The Donald anymore.

So let’s all get out our tie knives and start severing like the dickens. It’s not as if Trump hosts a formerly popular show on our network, or we were supposed to air his dopey beauty pageant, or we sell his line of tacky Chinese-made shirts (although that got more likely with this latest turn of events). In fact, our team of investigators has not yet found any actual business links between Meh and Donald Trump. But we’re not going to let a silly little fact like that keep us from joining the Trump-severing party.

Nor should you. Because the most important thing tying you to him, the one thing he can’t live without, is your attention. No more clicking through to read about Trump’s latest outrage. No more flocking to the scene to stare at the wreckage. Further rubbernecking would only encourage him to cause another crash. If we all agree to cast this idiot beyond the pale, he can’t bother us anymore. Like Freddie Krueger or some kind of grotesque reverse-Tinkerbell, the less we believe in him, the less power he has.

It’s over, The Donald. We’re lifting a Bormioli Rocco non-lead crystal glass to the times we’ve all had together. You’re going to have to get along without our attention. And we’ll miss our ringside seat at your comb-over freakshow. But in those moments, just remember, we’ll always have “I’ve always been a fan of Steve Jobs, but the yacht he built was truly ugly”.