Eyes On The Prize

One of the first things you learn when you welcome a baby into your home is that whoever came up with the phrase “sleep like a baby” to describe sound sleep either a) is a crazy person, or b) has only ever seen babies in photographs.

Babies do not sleep soundly. Babies sleep soundfully.

And it’s not like snoring, either. It’s not something rhythmic and regular that you can learn to recognize. No, baby sleep noises are like some sort of vocal free jazz, with stretches of silence punctuated at odd intervals by a sharp sound that might be a laugh, or a cry, or a cough, or a choking noise, or a snort, or some nonsense gurgle.

Seriously, play them audio of a baby sleeping and then ask them what they think they’re hearing, and they’ll probably say it’s a bird fighting a snake.

Then, eventually, there comes the time when your baby meets another baby, and they role-play at being Danny Ainge and Sam Presti, except instead of trading players and future first-round picks, they exchange a number of weird baby diseases, many of which are likely not even named yet. Now, all those weird above-mentioned noises are filtered through phlegm and sniffles.

And so far, we’ve only considered the noises babies make while sleeping. We haven’t even gotten to the ones they make as they fall asleep. One night, they’ll be crying and crying and crying, and you’ll be like, Why won’t they just go down? Is something wrong in there? And the next night, they’ll fall asleep really fast, and you’ll be like, That was suspicious. Should I be worried?

All of this is to say: an audio-only baby monitor doesn’t tell the whole story. So maybe consider getting a video-and-audio one, like this.

They have a secure 2.4GHz FHSS connection. They have two-way audio. They can pan & tilt. They have night vision. All so you see what baby’s doing when they make that weird noise. That way, you’ll know everything’s fine, and you won’t cycle through the ten worst-case scenarios before bursting in there and ruining what was otherwise going to be a totally great sleep cycle.

And we think that’s worth between 40 and 50 bucks.