I thought my Mom’s advice was pretty sound. Certainly better than the average stranger’s take as she had worked nursery and day care for quite some time and had quite the moral compass.
To those who didn’t have good parents, what can I say? I’m sorry you didn’t have better but I’m not going to apologize for mine.
@hchavers “Your Parents” as a positive influence is a questionable choice in far too many cases. Age alone is no predictor or whether your parents were likely to have been a beneficial influence, either. In my own case, I was a late surprise, which one might have expected to improve the results. But in looking back, no, I don’t think they did much that they could affirmatively take credit for. I was always pretty much ignored; I have a nephew who’s three months older than me. My surviving brother and I had a bit of a conversation about this topic a while back, and the number of notable omissions and outright damaging errors was even greater than I’d previously allowed myself to recognize.
Honestly, I think Facebook groups were the biggest help for me. Of course they are full of lunatics, but there are some very helpful people here and there who were able to point us in the direction of good resources.
Like they would give recommendations for books and websites and places to get more information because you can’t rely on whatever you hear in a parenting group.
My friends were all about 10 years ahead of me as far as having kids. So they weren’t in the baby mindset anymore, and didn’t have much advice.
My own parents didn’t have advice. My dad is useless, and my mom’s brain was so damaged from strokes. My inlaws had advice, but it wasn’t great. Like “you shouldn’t hold the baby all the time” and they are generally oblivious to safety issues.
Some books were helpful when my brain wasn’t too overwhelmed to read. For the most part we were winging it and figuring it out as we went.
I guess my parents were helpful in the sense that they showed me what NOT to do when raising kids.
@LaserEyes I could have written most of this! I found two FB groups, one of which was folks due the same month as me. Going through it together, even though virtually, was super helpful. I’ve gotten some great advice, and am able to see that the things my kid is doing are totally age appropriate. It’s also helpful knowing I’m not the only one going through the crazy parts, they all are, too.
All joking aside my kid responded to humor better than anything else so I actually used both of those up higher on her during her teen years. She thought they were funny but got the point. In response to the some species eat their young she told me I didn’t like to cook so wouldn’t know how to cook her. I told her there was always the internet. On the plus side she shaped up for the rest of the day after that interchange.