Cyber Year

You arrive here on Meh the Monday after thanksgiving and you notice two things…

First, you see that we are selling something actually good: Aiwa Arc-1 Bluetooth Headphones featuring great sound quality and twenty hours of playtime, which is to say nothing about how stylish and comfortable they are.

Second, you see the price: it’s a good deal, cheaper than at a lot of other stores, but at $129, it’s more expensive than stuff on Meh usually is.

You’re confused until you remember: it’s Cyber Monday.

Black Friday’s expanse along the calendar has been well-documented, but mostly, people focus on its Western migration. They bemoan how it has invaded Thanksgiving, a time that should be reserved for (passive-aggressively arguing with) family. But nobody seems to raise issue with the fact that it jumped the weekend and deposited a more internet-savvy clone of itself on the day most people go back to work.

And honestly, that’s an oversimplification. It isn’t just Black Friday and Cyber Monday anymore. Black Friday is really the beginning of Cyber week. Which goes from Black Friday through the next week, and into the week after that, and the one after that too. Really, it’s more like Cyber Month, and by “month” we mean most of November and actually a lot of December too. And who knows how much further it’ll go.

Do you remember when you were kids and, on December 26th, one of your parents would say, “Only 364 shopping days left until Christmas”? We are on the verge of that being our un-ironic reality.

Soon, every day will be like Black Friday or Cyber Monday. Shoppers will stay up all night every night, waiting to see what the new calendar day brings. With that many days to fill, the deals won’t all be home runs. Some of the products will be weird, some will be misunderstood, and some will be incredibly stupid. But the shoppers will keep coming and coming, checking each day to see if they can get something they want or need at a hilariously low price.

Can you imagine such a world?