96-Pack: Finger Licking Dutch Caramel Stroopwafels
- Powerfully delicious stroopwafels that feel like they should be illegal to buy in bulk.
- These are the classic caramel variety, for people of refinement and taste.
- You get damn near 100 of them.
- Can they make a margarita? Boy the self-indulgence doesn’t stop with you, does it?
Enjoy these treats. You monster.
You kind of need to be some sort of degenerate to order stroopwafels damn near 100 at a time. Because stroopwafels are the kind of thing that you’re supposed to discover out in the wild, peeking out of a relatively high-end gift basket or maybe laid out on the table at a really good Airbnb.
Buying them on purpose in large quantities feels like cheating. It’s like ordering a bunch of after-dinner mints and then just eating them one after the other while watching TV. Or paying money every month to eliminate the ads on YouTube. The artificial scarcity of mints and the annoyance of skipping ads while you’re trying to watch a video about how to fix your dryer are supposed to be universally shared elements of the human experience—tiny bits of suffering that help bind us all together.
The excitement of stumbling upon a stroopwafel on a dessert buffet table or sitting atop an awkwardly teetering tray of snacks being carried by your rickety grandmother are likewise supposed to be the kind of small joys that make us a united human species.
But not you.
No, you decided to hell with the rest of the world and one of the few remaining patches of common ground in an increasingly divisive and polarized society. We hope you enjoy your dozens and dozens of deeply discounted stroopwafels while you lay in a pile of wrappers as the rest of civilization burns to the ground around you.
Actually, that sounds kind of appealing.
Screw it. We’re keeping half of them. Order fast, you decadent monster.
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96-Pack: Finger Licking Dutch Caramel Stroopwafels 58
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