9-Pack: Comfort Republic Bamboo Viscose Briefs
- They’re boxer briefs that look sorta fun
- They run small so buy a few sizes up
- Lucky for you, we have mostly larger sizes left
- Seriously, here’s a sizing chart if you don’t believe us
- Can they make a margarita: Can boxer briefs make a margarita? What kind of question even is this?!
Bamboo-Hoo
“Watch this,” Todd whispered to Linda, before calling across the staff cafeteria: “Hey! Greg! What are you eating under there?”
Greg, unpacking his lunch, stopped and looked around, confused. “Under where?”
“You’re eating underwear?!” Todd cried.
He and Linda erupted in laughter. “I can’t believe that worked!” Linda wheezed. “You really got him!”
Greg turned red. “Oh, I see. This is some sort of prank, huh?”
“Greg, we were just messing–” Todd started to say.
“Well, newsflash, you two,” Greg said, raising his voice to cut Todd off. “Last time I checked, I’m not a bamboo lemur or a parrot. Nor am I termite.”
Todd and Linda looked at each other. “Sorry, what was that, Greg?”
“I wear Comfort Republic Bamboo Viscose Briefs,” Greg explained. “And, as I am not one of those creatures who make bamboo a central part of their diet, I think it’s safe to assume that I would not eat my underwear as a meal.”
“Huh,” Linda said.
“Or maybe you’re insinuating that I’m a giant panda,” Greg said, “thus mocking my size and also insinuating my bloodline will not continue for much longer?”
“Greg,” Todd said.
“Well, newsflash again!” Greg yelled, getting to his feet. “The giant panda is no longer classified as ‘endangered.’ It’s now merely ‘vulnerable.’ And unlike a lot of men, vulnerable isn’t something I’m afraid to be!”
“It’s just a stupid joke, Greg!” Todd yelled back. “Like, I probably learned it in third grade! I’m sorry! I did realize you’d get all weird about it because you wear some fancy underwear!”
“Fancy?” Greg said, sitting down. “I got nine pairs for thirty bucks.”
“Wait, really?” Todd said. “Where?”
“Meh dot com,” Greg said.
“That’s what the site is called?” Todd asked.
“Yeah,” said Greg. “It’s great. You should check it out.”
“Wow, now he’s trying to prank you,” Linda whispered. “How immature.”
