64-Pack: VERB Caffeinated Snack Bars

Each bar delivers bout as much caffeine as an espresso
64 of the chocolate peanut butter cup bars for $29
32 and 32 of the peanut butter crunch and chocolate peanut butter cup bars for $34
16, 16, 16, and 16 of the peanut butter crunch, chocolate peanut butter cup, chocolate chip banana bread, and s’mores bars for $39
Not to be confused with: NOUN codeine bars

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VERBacious

The phrase ‘morning person’ is, to us, a little misleading.

Yes, some people hit their peak performance in the evening, require some wind-down time, and thus go to bed late. These people, naturally, will sleep later, or else suffer an inefficient day. Likewise, some people experience peak productivity earlier and therefore go to bed earlier and can, in turn, get up earlier without as much difficulty.

But the conception of the morning person is someone who bounds out of bed at 5:30 am, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to tackle the day. And, in our experience, this person doesn’t exist. Some people can handle it better than others when the alarm beep-beep-beeps before sunrise, but very few people, even so-called ‘morning people,’ don’t face that early wake-up without at least some consternation. Doesn’t matter if you change your diet, your pre-sleep routine, or your exercise regimen–nobody likes to be woken up against their will.

Hence, the need for caffeine.

These deliver that, and they do so in delicious snack-bar form rather than (also delicious) cup-of-coffee form. In fact, each bar will deliver the same amount of caffeine as an espresso. Pretty cool, huh?

Well, it is… if they’re good.

So, are they?

To research this we went over to a little site known as Amazon dot com to see what people were saying. And that’s when we discovered this new feature, the ‘Customers say’ section, wherein an AI combs through the reviews and summarizes them. Here’s what it had to say:

Customers like the texture and ingredients of the snack bar. They say it has a no bake cookie texture and the ingredients are very clean. Customers are also happy with the energy. However, some customers have concerns about the value of the product. They also have mixed opinions on size, quality, and taste.

Here’s a great example of what’s wrong with using AI-generated text seemingly without any human oversight. These bars earn a rating of 4.2 out of 5. 78% of the 1,772 reviews submitted are 5-star and 4-star. Another 10% are 3-star. To say there are “mixed opinions on size, quality, and taste” is like telling a student who received a 97% on a math test that they got some answers right and other answers wrong. I.e. factually true yet entirely misleading. And it’s easy enough to see this just by skimming a few pages of the reviews, where most people are very positive, especially in terms of flavor.

One thing we do appreciate, though, is the value comment. Because it allows us to point out that these things usually go for nearly 2 bucks per bar, and we’re selling a 64-pack for $29 to $39.

Not a bad deal, eh?

So get some caffeinated bars. They might not turn you into a morning person, but they will help you become a get-through-the-morning person.

64-Pack: VERB Caffeinated Snack Bars

VERBacious

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