Possibly Great

On this site, we sell robot vacuums capable of complex mapping. We sell earbuds of all quality levels. We sell power banks that look like cameras, shower heads with aroma therapy pods, and fans that are also ring lights and charging pads.

And I’ll tell you, the most difficult product to write?

Dog treats.

Now, part of this is the fact that the ones we sell usually fall into the category of quasi-schmancy dog treats sold at a deep discount. Generally, they tout “better ingredients” and also some hard-to-quantify health benefits.

These are no exception. They stress that they’re packed with protein from real chicken, real pork, and real bone broth… plus glucosamine and chondroitin supplements that “can reverse cartilage loss, help to keep cartilage tissue hydrated and flexible for impact stress, and inhibit destructive enzymes that damage cartilage.” Also, they might boost your dog’s energy level.

It all sounds great, right?

But again, hard to measure.

As for how they taste… well, they’re dog treats. Yes, these ones are made with 100% human-grade stuff, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to chomp on them yourself to provide a review (unless you’d like to in the comments). So you have to rely on whether your dog eats them or not to know if they’re “good.” And even then, dogs love all sorts of terrible garbage. Those little nuggets that look like steaks and smell like salty spray paint? Your dog would go to town on those things if given the opportunity.

So maybe this, from Amazon user Lville, is a selling point:

My 3 dachshunds love Brutus treats! Ne has food sensitivities and these do not trigger her allergies at all.

If you’ve ever had a dog who suffered from allergies, you likely have heard of the drug Apoquel. It’s really amazing stuff. One pill a day–or even, sometimes, one pill every other day–and your dog’s allergies disappear, all for the very reasonable price of about $45 per pill.

So maybe that’s the pitch? Keep your dog’s allergies at bay and save some money?

But if your dog has no sensitivities, here’s a different angle: these things are biscuits. Meaning, they’re hard. Yes, according to reviews, they smell pretty chicken-y, but you don’t have to worry about them splintering to pieces in your pocket and/or leaving some nasty residue in your pocket. And among bougie pet treats, that’s a blessing. (Seriously, I once bought some freeze-dried salmon chunks for my dog and stuck a few in my coat pocket, and I swear I still catch whiffs of it a decade later.)

Look, they’re dog biscuits. Maybe they’re really good. And they’re cheaper than usual. So buy some?